Roughneck
by HelloElla
Summary: Running away from past demons and tragedies, broke and down on his luck, Edward gets a job in Texas as an oilfield roughneck. It's here he meets a younger woman. Bella is a cold, bitter oil money heiress, dealing with her own tragedy & heartbreak. They will have to put aside their prejudice and judgment in order to save each other from a life void of love and happiness.
1. Prologue

**Hello. Thank you for deciding to check out my new fic. I hope you enjoy. **

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for her beta skills. Any mistakes are mine for deciding to add at the last minute! **

* * *

Prologue

"_The righteous hates falsehood, but the wicked brings shame and disgrace!"_

"_Mr. Masen, please! You is hurtin the poor boy!"_

"_Stand back Elizabeth! You ignorant woman! Let me finish God's word!_

_Why did I lie? Why was I so stupid? I'm such a fool. I'm a wicked fool._

_Father kicks my legs from under me. I fall painfully and violently on my knees. He begins to forcefully rip my shirt open from the back. He's never been a strong man. His clumsy attempts to rip the cloth from my body cause it to painfully dig into my skin. _

_He forcefully pushes my head down to face the old and stained brown carpet of our home's living room. I hold myself up with my thin arms as he continues to shout versesfrom the Bible_

_I wish I could fight back._

_I can't wait to be a man so I can raise my strong fist._

_But I would be disappointing God._

_But why should I have to endure such pain?_

_Does He almighty really want this for me?_

_I cry out as Father's knee digs into my ribs, only making him more upset._

"_Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul…"_

_I can feel the spit from his words on my now bare backand suddenly it's accompanied by a stinging and powerful thwack from his belt._

_I cry out. Like a coward, tears run down my face and I watch as they soak into the ugly,__rough carpet. My sounds of agony and my pleading for him to forgive me do not stop the constant stinging thwacks._

_I dare turn to my mother who watches on with horror and shame in her eyes. But she dares not move or speak._

_She will not defend me. Today, like so many times before, she will cower away to Bible meetings and songs and run her fingers through the beads of that old rosary Father gave her. She will pray to God on her weak and stubby knees that all her sins will be forgiven when death shall come and claim her._

_And I'll be alone with my pain._

My heart hammers in my chest as I run with every might in my body.

The hot sun dries the sweat drops runnin' down my face, medals of my hard labor. I can feel how the remaining salty sweat seeps into my bloody knuckles and it stings like a burnin' hell. I think my hand is broken. I hit that son of a bitch with all that I had.

But I don't give a damn. I run like a madman and don't even stop to breathe as I jump into my truck and stomp on the gas pedal.

I have to get to her before he does.

I have to get to Bella.

I have to tell her what I've done. Though she'll hate me regardless, if she hears the truth from someone else's mouth, I know I'll lose her forever. She has to listen to me. She has to know my story.

_He was a crazy son of a bitch. I know I should have done the right thing, but I'm only human._

As I drive down the interstate and pass that same spot on the road that haunts her every day, I pray that she'll find it in her heart to forgive me.

God only knows how much I've fought to earn a place in it.

I've been a troubled man with the devil dancing heavily on my shoulder for too long. I've spent this lifetime with my tightly joined hands askin' for forgiveness and lookin' for my haven. Deservin' of it or not, I'll do anything and fight anyone to keep it.

To keep her.

* * *

**Please let me know what you think!**

**Chapter one will be posted tonight.**

**at HelloElla90**


	2. Different

**Hello again! Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad you like _Roughneck_ already. **

**I will give you a few warnings. This story is tagged angst and some of it happened in the past of Edward's life which you'll get glimpses of. It might be violent and there are some references of God and politics. I'm not trying to push my beliefs on anybody; it's just the characters talking. The whole story is based on my hometown and things I've heard said around here. **

**Anywho, I hope you like the first chapter.**

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for her beta skills. Any mistakes are mine for deciding to add at the last minute!**

* * *

Chapter 1- Different_  
_

"Son of a flyin' bitch!" Mike shouts for what seems like the hundredth time today.

I chuckle as I wipe the sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand. I walk over to the poor fool and show him how to close the pipe good and proper. It's been a long and hard day, but I ain't about to leave this poor hick on his own again. The last time we did, he almost started a fire. Luckily he only got black oil all over Garrett's truck and he had to buy everyone beers.

He hangs his head down as I tell him that I'll help him. He's about to walk away and leave me to do his job, but I grab his tattooed arm and pull him back. He's young and not very smart. He barely finished high school and already has a baby on the way. Yup, stupid I tell ya'.

He quit smokin' pot and got a _real man's job_, like he calls it. His stupidity reminds me of my younger self. Maybe that's why I have the patience nobody else seems to have for him.

"You ain't never gonna learn if you don't pay attention, Mike," I tell him. He scratches his stubbly chin and huffs. "You see this handle here? You gotta pull it. Hard."

"Yeah, like your small cock, you son of a bitch!" Emmett McCarty shouts, making the rest of the men crack with laughter. He don't mean no harm. He's a nice guy but a big, and I do mean big, goof.

I do feel bad for the poor kid. Emmett has been on his case all day. Mike is really bad at this job and he does try, but Emmett is funny as fuck, so I try to hide my own chuckle behind my oil stained fist.

"You're too nice, Mase," Garrett says as we jump in his pickup truck to head back to the big rig location.

"I just remember being the new kid, is all. It ain't fun."

Emmett cracks laughing again. The big asshole is always laughing. "Mase, Mike's been workin' here longer than you have," he says, before spitting out his window.

"It don't matter. He's just a kid. He'll learn."

Eleazar Gonzalez, or Eli, as everyone calls him, jumps in the backseat with me. We begin to journey through the flat, brown, dessert land of West Texas.

"You_ gringos_ are fucked up," he laughs. "The only _guero _I'm buying a beer for tonight is Edward here, in honor of his heroism." Eli pats my shoulder, places a baseball cap over his black hair, and fixes the rosary beads around his neck. They're covered in oil now, but he'll spend a few minutes cleaning them before heading back home.

He's a good man. He has two kids and a wife he works for. He's admitted he really doesn't spend much on himself and that's what a real man does. The guys like to give him a hard time because he has a thick accent and sometimes he'll say things we can't understand. He grew up in Mexico, but learned English, and works his ass off for his family. I respect him for that. Must be tough working in a strange land and away from home.

He's brave.

"Whatever, Eli. You better not invite James. He's a fuckin' asshole. Mase, you're comin' tonight, aren't ya?" Emmett asks.

I take a deep breath of annoyance as I stare out my window, watchin' as we drive by the dry and dead land I've now called home for the past eight months. There ain't nothin' green about this town except for the money. We've been working for a few days out in the middle of nowhere, looking for the black gold that helps us get paid good money and helps this town stay alive.

Odessa, Texas is the city with the best economy in the country right now. But you have to be ready to break your back, put up with the daily, hundred and hell degree weather, and not have much free time. And it's not like you would do anything with that time anyway. There ain't much to do around here. There's nothing to see either. There ain't no trees or even plants. Everything is dry and dead. It hasn't rained in months. We see a whole lot of nothin' as we drive around every day.

"I told you already, I ain't planning on drinking anytime soon," I tell him. He's been begging me to go with him and the boys to a bar his wife manages. He swears it'll be a lot of fun.

I know it would be, especially with that crazy fucker and the drinks his wife, Rose makes. But I ain't up for that type of fun anymore.

"You're a pussy. A big, floppy and wrinkled pussy," he accuses as he puts his trucker hat on.

"Fuck you," I mutter.

"It just means more booze for us!" Garrett hollers, as we finally arrive to our main location.

I just wanna get to my shitty apartment, take a shower to scrub all this oil off my skin and land in bed. I worked 14 hours yesterday and got up at four in the morning today. I think I deserve to sleep.

I walk into the main office, punch my timecard, say my awkward hello to Angela, and then a swift goodbye. I think she likes me. She flutters her eyelashes at me and tries to make small talk. She's not very good at flirting and I ain't either, so I end up saying something dumb and walking away.

I used to be good at it.

I used to be able to talk women into anything I wanted. It was easy, fun and what man doesn't want a willing mouth? I sure as hell pissed off a whole lotta ladies when I got what I wanted and left.

All I'm sayin' is that Angela is a nice girl. I'm done fuckin' nice people over.

I didn't move to this town to continue down the path I've been tumbling through for 27 years. I came here with my mind set on a goal; to get out of the shit hole I've made of my life.

As I head over to my broken down, green, Chevy truck, I see my boss, Carlisle Cullen talking to Emmett and Jasper.

Jasper is the team lead. He's some young, hotshot with loads of money. He's a cool guy if you don't piss him off. The rest of the guys complain that he don't do much, but ain't that why he's the lead? I just stay out of his way and do my job.

"Hey, Edward," Carlisle calls me over. He smiles as he waves me on.

I try to straighten up as I reach him. I pull my sleeves down to cover my inked arms and prepare myself to talk like a fucken' professional and not like a damn redneck with no education.

"Hello, Mr. Cullen," I say.

He chuckles. "It's Carlisle, Edward. Jasper and Emmett were just telling me how great you've been doing lately. I must say I'm not surprised. I'm the one who hired you," he jokes with loud laughter. "In all honesty, you're a hard working man and that's greatly appreciated. Keep this up, Edward, and soon enough you'll be walking around giving orders. I'm proud of you, son."

He pats my shoulder and I try really hard not to smile like a pussy. I really look up to this man. He's the co-owner of the company, Charles Swan being the other owner. Carlisle is a great boss and a great man. He's known around the oilfield and town as a great person. He's donated a lotta money to charity and is known to be really kind to his employees, especially when it comes to holiday bonuses.

"I'll be off in two weeks," he says. "I'll be off for a few days so Ben and Jasper will be in charge. If they need more assistance, they'll have you as help."

"Yes, sir. That's not a problem. Thank you for trusting me," I answer him.

"Thanks, Edward. My son Peter is getting married to his high school sweetheart. I'll be having fun at the big party; especially knowing you guys got it handled here."

"Congratulations to your son."

~RN~

Damn traffic in this town is out of control. We're over populated so there is always an accident or a traffic jam on the interstate during rush hour. I ain't the only one that found out about the oilfield boom. There's a shitload of people from around Texas and even from out of state that have moved here for a job.

Having so many able bodied men means more competition for management positions. That's why I'm working my ass off. I'm gonna get out of working in the sun one day and gonna get more money. I'll buy myself a little house and maybe even find myself a wife.

I laugh as I make it into the south side of Odessa. The idea that I'll have a sweet girl with my last name is insane. But I'm gettin' old and I am gettin' myself situated, so maybe it ain't that crazy.

Besides, being lonesome every night stopped being a party a long time ago. Since I don't go out and get in trouble anymore, I find myself alone in my small apartment, thinkin' things I shouldn't think.

I also start remembering the past. In my case that ain't a good idea.

I stop by some small burrito and taco place and get myself dinner. I'm always the random _gringo _in this side of town, but once they see I ain't a racist hick, they're extra friendly to me.

I finally make it to my apartment complex. It's the cheapest rent I could find, but just as it's cheap it's dangerous. There are a lot of criminals and low lives living here. Just the other day, some crazy asshole stabbed his wife and kid. I avoid looking at anybody in the face. Just like there are friendly people that understand that I'm a friendly redneck, there also people that don't believe that and hate me.

I shower, scrubbing the black oil stains off my skin. The shit is tough to come off, so I end up with red marks from my small wash towel. I throw on a white, wife beater, ignoring the angry scars on my back. If I look at em,' it'll just piss me off again.

I'm tired of being mad.

I move my fingers through my messy, copper-colored hair and decide against shaving.

"How's everything goin'? Have you met a nice girl, Son?" Momma asks. She calls me every night to check on me. We don't have much to talk about. We've never had. But she's my momma so five minutes of awkward questions and muttering is okay.

"Everything is going good. My boss says I might be a lead one day if I keep workin' hard."

"That's nice, Son."

"It is."

"Your father asked about you today."

I don't say anything for a few long seconds. I exhale my breath, and hope that with it goes my anger.

"Have you talked to Aunt Bonnie lately?"

She sighs. She knows I'm changing the subject. "She's doing better, but the cancer is an evil demon."

"Will you tell her that I love her and I'm sorry I couldn't make it to her party?"

"Of course, honey."

"I'm gonna eat my dinner now, Ma. You have a good night."

"You should really find a nice girl to make you good meals every day. You shouldn't be lonely anymore, Son. You're a great man and deserve happiness."

"Yes, Ma."

"Goodnight, Son."

Twenty minutes later, I've swallowed my burritos and I'm now watching bad TV while resting on my bed. I ignore the police sirens outside my window and the shouting coming from the hall. I get annoyed with the leaky sink in the kitchen. I haven't had time to fix it. It don't let me sleep. In this small apartment, the kitchen is right next to my room and the cheap, thin walls don't offer a whole lot of insulation from the noise. I can hear a baby crying and another set of shouting.

I huff and turn my TV off as the noise around me continues. The sun is long gone, and to save money, I just have the small bedside lamp lighting the room.

I start thinking about how alone I am and how much it digs into my bones sometimes. Just like a cold winter night, it shakes me in my boots and makes it hard to breathe.

I used to make the devil's water my medicine, but that never helped me like I thought it did. Everyone I knew that wanted to stick around, ended up running away from me in the end. I don't blame em' at all. I would wake up drunk as a mule and wouldn't recognize the blood shot eyes glaring back at me in the mirror. I swear I wasn't that crazed and mad man. At least I didn't look like him.

Dr. Leo, from the Houston Prison, told me I was suffering from depression.

I called him a crazy fucker before I left that place.

It wasn't until I almost died from a knife fight that I fell to my knees and prayed to the Lord for forgiveness. I knew, sooner or later, I was gonna be found soulless and maybe even dead in the dark. God was gonna cut me off and I would fall into the devil's burnin' hands.

I ain't a saint now, but I'm a good man. That's what I wanna be. I got a lotta work ahead, but that's what life is, I guess. My hands and soul are gonna be covered in ugly calluses, but I ain't giving up. I've changed my ways and I ain't never gonna go back to that man that I used to be.

I ain't gonna be mad no more.

At least I hope so.

"_Nobody's gonna want your stupid self. You're useless!"_

"_Mr. Masen, please."_

"_Shut up, woman! I'm talkin' to my son!"_

"_But…"_

_He raises his hand at her and she quickly shuts up. She gives me a pitiful look before turnin' around and leaving the room._

_He slaps my face with all his might and I swear I can see small lights behind my eyelids. I got a headache now. I slowly rise to my hands and knees, hopin' he's done._

"_Go to your room and pray for forgiveness. I want you on your knees and talking to the Lord all afternoon and maybe you can have supper. You gotta learn how to use that damn brain of yours, boy!"_

_I get another slap and a boot kick to my side before I end up quietly sobbing in my room. I hold my hands so tightly together that it hurts. But I'm praying so hard for Him to take me and I'm hopin' He finally listens to me._

"Mase, you gotta come down to the bar! A bunch of the boys are here and havin' fun. You just gotta ignore James. You're missin' out, pussy!"

I sigh into my cell phone. I gotta hand it to Emmett, he ain't a quitter.

"I ain't drinkin,"

"That's fine! We got milk too!"

"Fuck you!"

"Hey, baby," I hear him say.

"What in the actual fuck?"

He laughs. "I'm talkin' to my woman, you fucker…yes, Rose baby. Yeah, you wear them jean shorts… your ass looks…"

I groan in frustration.

"Alright, let me be, woman. Gotta handle business here with Edward Masen."

"I can't believe I call you a friend," I mutter.

"Come on! Put on your cowboy boots and cowboy hat and get your white trash ass down here. I bet you're being emo and shit right now."

"Fine. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Fuck yeah!"

"But I ain't drinking!"

~RN~

BPOV

"I just want it to be elegant and for everyone to see you in that beautiful white dress and be envious, Bella," Mother says.

I smile as we look at bedspreads together. She's always wanted people to be envious of what we have. It doesn't matter what it is, the Swans have to be the most expensive and most elegant bunch.

"I know, Mom. I want everyone to have a good time, but I also want to enjoy that moment with Peter. I'm only getting married once."

"As God wants it to be. I can't believe you're marrying Pete. He's such a catch. His family has good money and a good name."

"That's not why I'm marrying him. I love him, Mom," I mutter as we move to the pillow section.

"Oh, I know, baby. I'm just pointing out the bonuses."

"Of course you are," I chuckle.

"Oh, dear look at these!"

"A grand for a bed set?"

"That isn't much, honey. Look at the elegance of the bed sheets!"

"I'm sure Peter doesn't care about that."

"He sure does. He's a Cullen. They always have the best of the best."

We continue looking, but I'm sure she'll convince me that the expensive bed sheets are the way to go. I smile as I read a text message from Pete. He's silly. He sends me a number every day, counting down the days until I take his name and love in front of God.

"I was thinking about going back to school after the honeymoon, Mom."

"What? What for, Bella?"

"I like it," I tell her. "I really want to be a teacher. I love kids."

"Well have kids! You would be wasting your time. Teaching pays close to nothing. Peter has plenty of money to support you with."

"But I don't just want to stay home."

"We can go shopping and have lunch every day. You can also visit Tanya and Lauren. You girls could probably shop in Lubbock or Midland. You're going to have a good life."

I roll my eyes at my mother's idea of life.

"Have you asked Peter about it?"

"I wasn't aware I had to ask him. I was going to tell him."

"Honey, you're getting married. Everything has to be a question now. Imagine me telling Charlie I'm going to school without his permission!" She laughs.

"Do you know what ridiculous thing your father asked me today?"

"What?"

"He asked if you were going to invite that crazy liberal Alice Brandon!"

"Um…"

"Oh, baby, don't tell me you invited that abortion supporter? You know how I feel about her. She's a crazy feminist and I think she's a lesbian."

I laugh at my mother's words. "Mother! She's not a lesbian! She's been nice to me and when she asked when my wedding was I couldn't help it and I invited her."

Alice Brandon was a left wing political nutcase to my mother and father, but she had been nice and welcoming when I started going to college. I wouldn't have survived biology if it weren't for her. We're very different. She doesn't believe in religion and supports things like equal marriage rights for gays and higher taxes to the wealthy. She's everything my family stands against. But there's just something about her that I really like and connect to. We don't talk much, but when we do, it's as if we've never stopped the communication, and can talk for hours about random educated stuff. But yeah, we hardly speak to each other.

Like I said, we're very different, she and I.

"Well I hope she don't spoil anything."

"She won't."

"I talked to Lauren today,"

"Oh yeah?"

"She said you should have waited until next year when you're 21 to have a real bachelorette party. I told her you're smart by hurrying this up before Pete changes his mind."

I roll my eyes again.

"Besides, you can drink wine. I won't tell."

~RN~

Growing up as Isabella Swan, I've never needed anything. I've been spoiled since birth and of that I am sure of. I'm the only child of the wealthy Charles and Renee Swan.

My father owns a big oil company in Odessa and several smaller ones around West Texas and my mother loves to show off his wealth. I always had the best clothes and cars in school. I always get what I want. She makes sure I only dress in the best and have my hair cut by a top professional.

My father, Charlie, doesn't hesitate to spoil me either. I must say I'm a daddy's little girl. I love spending time with him when he has it. He's mostly busy with his work.

Given my wealth and great parents, it's obvious that I should be incredibly happy.

I am, though recently I've been feeling strange. I've been feeling confused and maybe a little frustrated. Maybe I'm just waiting for my wedding. The anxiety might be making me think out of the ordinary. I can't wait to become Mrs. Peter Cullen and move out from my parents' home, though I'm sure I'll miss them.

~RN~

"I can't believe you're making me drive you to that nasty oil company," Lauren huffs as we drive down the interstate in her SUV.

"It's my daddy's birthday. I want to surprise him. You would do the same for your daddy." I argue.

"But just think of all those damn rednecks and Mexicans that work for him staring at us like we're something to eat. They're pigs."

I giggle. "They are pretty disgusting."

"And dirty."

"And ignorant."

"You better hurry and give him his gift. I get grossed out the more I think about those horn dogs."

"I'll do my best," I say with a chuckle.

"Why can't they all be like your Peter and my Tyler? Smart, rich and charming…"

"Oh, lord, just park already."

As I walk to Charlie's office with his gift in hand, I hear whistling and men calling me "doll face" and "baby." They are truly disgusting.

I walk to the front desk and find Angela on her cell phone talking out loud with whom I think is her boyfriend. She's always been the trashy type. I used to tease her a lot in school. She hates me, but my daddy is her boss so she sucks it up.

Like she should.

"Where's my dad?" I ask without saying hello.

She sighs and says he's in a meeting.

"I'll wait here, but can you tell him his daughter is here and that it's imperative that I talk to him?"

She rolls her eyes and walks off.

I stand around waiting for Charlie. I stare out the window of the office as some men arrive and jump off of a pickup truck. There's Garrett, who I used to think was cute in high school. He was funny and charming, but he had no money. What a loser he turned out to be working for my dad as a roughneck.

I see a few familiar faces. I don't know their names and don't care much to learn them. I've just seen them at company parties and BBQs. I don't last very long at those things as they are a bore. I don't know why Dad spends so much money on these losers. He already pays them well. It's one of the highest paying oilfield companies in this town.

My eyes wander around but suddenly stop as they catch a new face.

He's a fit looking man. He looks young. His messy and dirty copper-colored hair stands out in contrast to his sweaty and dirty white t-shirt. It's somewhat stuck to his body, letting me see more of him. I can see the outline of his hard chest and broad shoulders. As he pulls tools and boxes out the truck, I swallow at how his biceps flex.

One of the bigger guys says something and Copper Head laughs, making his Adam's apple bob. My eyes trace his jaw line covered in two days worth of stubble and wander up to his green eyes that shine from his oil stained face. His nose looks like it's been broken before, but somehow that makes him look more masculine and…attractive.

His worn out jeans and dirty boots snap me out of my daze.

_Jesus! Was I checking him out?_

I cover my face with my hands and being to giggle, feeling ridiculous. Then I feel guilty. I love Peter and it's not right that I did that.

I shake my head and head over to Charlie, leaving my stupid and indecent thoughts of that dirty roughneck behind.

~RN~

"I just can't believe that fool is our president!" Charlie complains, as he pushes more mashed potatoes into his mouth. "It's like he could give two rats asses about our needs. He worries more about these blacks,,, and white trash on welfare that should get a damn job. Not to mention these wetbacks that come into our country illegally! We, the people that actually work should get more consideration and representation."

I sigh and turn to Peter who knows I hate when Daddy talks about politics. He smiles down at me and I swear his blue eyes shine when he looks at me. I think I'm a silly girl, but who gives a damn. I'm in love. He squeezes my hand that rests on the dinner table and goes back to eating his steak.

We are having dinner at the Cullens for Dad's birthday. Esme, Peter's mother, is an expert at cooking Texas famed steaks; Charlie's favorite. My parents and Peter's parents have been friends since they were in high school together. They had a boy and my parents had a girl.

It made perfect sense the friendship would continue with Peter and me.

"And he supports abortion!" My mother adds to the discussion.

I roll my eyes. She's obsessed with the subject.

"He wants to kill babies and support homosexuals. All sins in God's eye!" She takes a deep breath to control herself and continues to cut into her steak.

"Can we not talk about at this at your birthday dinner, Daddy?" I ask.

Peter chuckles. "Darling, your father needs to vent."

"Well can we vent later?"

"Baby, let me talk to Carlisle here. He's convinced that the Democrat we have in office can actually do some good, and I need to talk some sense into him before he turns into a liberal," Charlie says, and Carlisle laughs.

"I'm no liberal, Charlie." Carlisle continues, to my dismay. "I just think maybe we should unite rather than fight. But let's change the subject like Bella suggested. I wanted to tell you, Charlie, that I found a great replacement for when Billy finally decides to retire."

"Yeah?"

"Edward Masen. He's a great man and a hard worker. We need someone responsible."

"Hmm, we shall see. I don't like giving new guys quick chances, but we'll see."

"He's great. You'll like him. I also wanted to announce that Pete ,,,, here, is almost done with his degree," Carlisle says proudly.

"He's our pride and joy," Esme adds.

"That's so great, baby," I whisper, and give him a quick peck on the check. I'm really proud of him. He's working really hard to get his Business Degree.

He thanks his father and runs a hand through his blonde hair. He always does this when he's nervous or embarrassed. He's never liked praise.

"Would ya'll believe that Bella told me today that she wanted to go back to school?" Renee laughs.

I can feel how quickly my cheeks turn hot and red. I really wish I hadn't mentioned it to her.

"Bells, why didn't you tell me you were thinking about going back to school?" Peter asks with concern and confusion in his face.

Full of embarrassment, I shake my head to dismiss what once sounded like a good idea to me. I realize it only sounded like a good idea to me when I am alone.

"It was just a thought. I didn't mean it," I mumble. "I mean I'm only twenty and it doesn't have to be any time soon. I was just thinking out loud. Nothing serious, I promise."

He looks pleased with my answer and somehow I don't like that.

~RN~

Peter looks pensive as he drives me home. Mom and Dad are already ahead of us and I've lost sight of their car. Peter wanted to "talk" so he offered to drive me so we could do the "talking."

"Do you really want to return to school? I thought you wanted to take some time off?" Peter asks.

"I kinda do want to go back."

He stays quiet for a few minutes. It's dark outside and the only light is coming from the electronics inside his car and the passing headlights.

"Why are you mad at that idea?" I ask him.

He sighs and pulls at his blue tie. "Of course I'm not mad, honey. I love that you want to continue school. You know I support your decision in becoming a teacher. I just thought we wanted to get started on our marriage," he says.

"What? We are getting started. We're getting married in two weeks."

"I meant family. You know how much I want babies. I want a son."

I giggle. "You're talking as if we're in the 1800s and I need to pop babies out as soon as possible before I get a disease and die."

He chuckles.

"If we have kids now, I'll have to stay home with them until they are old enough to have a babysitter or older. And by the time I get started up again with school I'll be in my late twenties, almost thirties."

"I'm just saying that I'd prefer to have kids now before I'm too old to play with them."

"You're only 23!"

He stays silent again as we reach a red light.

"Look, I love you Bella," he says, and reaches over to kiss me on the lips. "I want you to be happy and do whatever it is you want to do. But just think about it a little longer. Maybe you can see the benefits in having our kiddos sooner rather than later."

I sigh and give him another kiss. "I'll think about it. I promise."

He grins at his small victory.

I pinch his cheek making him laugh. "I love you too, Pete. I can't wait to spend my life with you."

He grins and he is about to reach over for another kiss when the light turns green. He lets go of me and turns back to the road ahead. I feel as the car start to accelerate.

Suddenly I hear a loud screeching noise coming from his direction. Before I can look or analyze what's going on, the car is violently jerked to the right by a quick and loud bang.

I don't think I'm breathing or thinking.

Everything is happening so fast.

The seat belt starts digging into my neck and it seems gravity is no longer a friend. Everything is spinning. I try to scream as I realize the car is flipping over but I can't make any sounds.

Everything turns black.

There is throbbing and unbearable pain in my left leg and in my head. I can smell the blood. I can also feel it running down my face. There is a heavy pressure on my neck. It feels strained and it hurts like hell.

My eyes are closed and the eerie silence that is now around me makes me stir. I'm fighting to open my eyes, but the pain is too much. I moan, hoping someone will hear my sounds of desperation and help me. I begin to cry and fight my eyes to open.

Peter.

Suddenly I can hear the sounds of the world again. The car's alarm is hollering and I can finally hear myself cry.

I snap my eyes open and it takes them a few minutes to adjust and take in what just happened and where I am.

I begin to panic as I realize that the car is flipped over and the seat belt is cutting into my skin as it holds me from falling head first.

I cough, choking on the blood that is coming from an unknown part of my body and into my nose and mouth.

I turn to check on Peter.

His eyes are tightly closed. He doesn't seem to be breathing. His face is covered in blood.

"Peter!" I manage to gurgle out, with my voice full of panic and fear. "Wake up!"

I plead to him, but he doesn't even move.

I realize I have to save us both. I can smell the awful gasoline.

I struggle and cry in agony as I pull every torn muscle and broken bone to reach the release of my seat belt. When I finally press the button, I cry as I fall head first onto the roof of the car that is now where I lie.

There is glass everywhere. In my hair and in my skin. I screech as I can feel it piercing into my skin as I try to crawl out of the car. My neck aches in pain as it holds my body's weight.

My passenger window is cracked, a fist away from completely shattering open. I hold my breath and punch it weakly. I wail as the pain shoots from my wrist up my arm.

I being to crawl out, dragging my broken body over the glass and wrecked car parts. When I finally make it out of the car, the cool air of the night hits me. I begin to choke on blood and try to drag myself back to reach for Peter.

I don't know how I'll do it, but I have to save him.

"Pete!" I shout again.

He's still not awake.

I can hear the sirens from afar and the crippling panic sets in to get Peter out of the car. I can't move, so I continue shouting. I notice his side of the car is crushed into him. I can't see his left leg and his chest isn't rising or falling.

"Pete," I cry. My voice breaking at the sound of his name. "Pete, please wake up! Don't leave me!"

I continue shouting until suddenly the blue and red rescue lights are illuminating his bloody and lifeless face, but they do nothing to stop the blackness that is taking over me.

And suddenly, there's nothing but the sounds of shouting men asking me if I'm alive, and the rusty taste of blood in my mouth.

There is this agony I feel from my wounds, but also from what I know is true of the man I love.

* * *

**What ya think?**

**Love Mase/RoughneckWard? Let me know!**

**This will probably be the longest chapter for a while. Next chapter is already done, just needs some reviewing. **

**Follow me at HelloElla90**


	3. Stand

**Hi there. So the holidays are over and now I'm back to normal… okay, I'm never normal.**

**Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. I'm glad you're reading. **

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for her beta skills. Any mistakes are mine for deciding to add at the last minute! **

* * *

Chapter 2- Stand

"Mase! Over here!" Emmett shouts across the crowded bar. He's sittin' at a table with plenty of beer bottles in front of him.

I chuckle and head over to where he stands with his arm wrapped around his beautiful blonde wife, Rosalie McCarty.

She's a crazy nut. She's got the prettiest face and bluest eyes in West Texas, but the most dangerous right hook in the damn state. I guess workin' at a bar for so long teaches you a thing or two about fightin' and not puttin' up with shit from crazy drunken hicks.

I shake Eli's hand, and laugh, as Garrett dances all by his boozed-up-self on the dance floor to _All My Ex's Live in Texas_. His white, beat-up cowboy hat is crooked on his head and his shirt is undone. He's havin' fun.

"That asshole already had four beers, Mase. Want one?" Emmett asks.

"What kind?" Rose waits for my answer. She's an impatient woman. She taps her snakeskin, boot- covered foot, and raises her sculpted eyebrow at me.

I see her once in a while when she visits Emmett for lunch on her days off, but we don't really talk. She's a little reserved, but when she does decide to say somethin' it's always blunt and sometimes even rude. She can be a mean bitch. She's ain't a bad person though. She's just honest and that's why Emmett loves her. Even though he loves her, that don't stop her from being scary and intimidating. She's got a few tattoos and always wears cowboy boots. She sleeps most of the day because of her night job, but she'll spend the afternoons gettin' her hair and nails done, driving Emmett nuts. But he really don't care. He loves that crazy, money spendin,' blonde.

"I'll have a Coke."

"Like hell you are, Masen! Get em' a Bud, babe," Emmett tells her, then kisses her cheek and slaps her ass as she walks away. She sure does love the damn goof. She would have ripped a new one to any other asshole for doing that. Instead, she winks at him and continues on her merry way to the bar.

"You're such a bad friend, Emmett," I tell him, hollerin' over the loud, country music. "I'm tryin' to clean myself up, and I drove here."

"Calm your redneck tits, Mase. It's just one beer. You can have your Coke on the fuckin' rocks after you're done with it." A new song starts playin' and suddenly Emmett raises his beer bottle and "woohoos" louder than the damn music. "I love this goddamn song!"

Crazy fuck.

"You better drink this, Edward," Rosalie says as she hands me the cold beer. "I don't like walkin' for nothin.' So make me happy."

I give her a smile, but she doesn't return it. Instead, she walks back to give some thirsty fools more booze.

I take a small sip. Goddamn, that hit the spot. I haven't had a beer in a long time. I take a long swig and sit next to Eli.

"Where the wife?" I ask him.

"She's with her mama. I came here to take care of Mikey," he says, and nods over to a happy lookin' Mike Newton. There are a few empty beer bottles in front of him. He's tappin' the table to the beat of the song and by the look in his eyes, he's high as fuck.

"I thought he had stopped that shit?"

"I thought so too, Edward, but he said he's celebrating because he just found out he's having a baby boy," Eli says.

"Dumb fuck," Emmett mutters. "Hey pussy face!" He shouts in Mike's direction.

Mike glares at him.

"The hell you want?"

"Don't drink all the booze. There are a lot of us here tonight, and your baby's mama needs ya' alive to help with the stinker you is about to have."

"Fuck off, Emmett," Mike slurs and gets up. He slowly walks over to a girl who looks like she don't know where she's at and takes her out to dance.

"Why do we always have to be babysittin' that moron?"

"He's just a kid. He don't know better. Someone has to knock some sense into him," I say, and take another small sip of my beer.

"Well I'll be more than happy to do that task," Emmett hollers.

"I'm sure you would."

Garrett comes back, sweaty as hell from his dancin.' He grins and downs another beer before roughly patting my back.

"You got a cig, Edward?"

I loan him a smoke and light one for myself. I drink half my beer while I stare at people dancin' and havin' fun. The night is still young, and maybe I'll ask a pretty gal for a dance if I get brave enough. I haven't tested my prancin' skills in a long while.

"How does it feel to be the only _beaner_ in the bar," a loud voice shouts.

I turn and see James Hunter wrapping an arm around Eli. His face is red from all the booze, and his sweat stained shirt is half tucked into his jeans.

"You know this could be dangerous. If they see your brown skin, shit might get real." he slurs into Eli's face. "I'm fix'in to go dancin' and I won't be around to protect ya.'"

Eli just pulls out of his grasp and continues staring at the dancing crowd. "I'm sure I'll be fine."

"You _beaners_ always bein' brave."

"James, why don't you go screw your cousin Sharla? You always have the hots for her." Emmett suggests. "And wrap it well. We don't want another blonde asshole like you runnin' around with his small dick caught in his zipper."

The table rumbles from everyone's laughter, including my own.

I smirk as James angrily walks past Emmett and back into the dancin' bar.

I push the rest of my beer away, not even wantin' a buzz, and drink the Coke Rose eventually brought me. An hour later, after dancin' with some redhead Emmett threw on my lap, and arguing about how the Dallas Cowboys need a new quarterback, I say my goodbyes and head outside.

I take in the cool night air. The lack of buildings and trees leaves the sky open to my greedy eyes. It's covered in stars and the big moon shines down on me. Its nights like these that make me thank God that I'm alive and I stopped being stupid.

I pop my cigarette in my mouth, wonderin' how I'll give up the habit. In the meantime, I enjoy the smoke as if it's my last. I might go coldturkey and quit soon enough.

Like I did with everything else.

I finish my cigarette, but before I can start walkin' to my truck, the rusty bar door slams open. I turn around to see what the hell is goin' on when Mike rolls out, holding his stomach, and bent over, just a few feet away from the door.

"You motherfucker!" A very drunken James shouts and hovers over Mike, who agonizes in pain. He kicks the dumb kid in the ribs with his steal toed boot, and pulls him up to shout in his face. "If you ever touch my bitch again, I'll fuckin' kill ya! Ya hear! I'll kill ya!" He lays a loud jab into Mike's face, causing for him to fall.

He continues to beat the shit out of Mike.

_He's gonna kill him._

Before James can throw another punch, I run over and tackle the son of a bitch. He loses his breath as we land on his back, but that don't stop him from aiming shots at my face. He tries to fight me off, but he's drunk and I'm not, so I have an advantage. I shove my forearm into his neck, causing him to choke and gasp.

"That's enough, you goddamn snake!" I shout.

"Get the fuck off me!"

"You best run off, fucker."

"He touched my woman!"

"And you already gave him what he deserves, now back off."

"Fine! I'll let that pussy go, but let me be, you son of a bitch!" He shouts.

I give his neck one last shove and lay off. I take deep breaths to help me calm down. I've always had a short temper, especially with assholes. It don't take me very long to want to punch one in the damn throat. I've been workin' on fixing that, but I'll do that later, when James Hunter ain't being a goddamn pest.

He slowly stands, using the parked truck next to him, to hold on. When he looks calm enough, I start to turn the other way, when suddenly I feel him pull my shoulder back, causin' me to turn and face him.

When I manage to do so, my left eye meets is right fist.

Motherfucker punched me.

And he punched me hard.

I fall on my ass and while I'm groanin' and holdin' my face in pain, he starts to walk the other way. I decide to let him go. I ain't goin' to jail again for some dumb fuck. And then there's the fact that I can barely see anything. He slowly makes it into the dark parkin' lot of the bar, and I know someone should stop him because he's drunk as hell and he surely can't drive.

Maybe I should go after him.

"James!" I shout.

"Why the hell did you do that?" Mike asks, spittin' out blood from his mouth, and distracting me from James.

"What? Defend you?" I ask as I try to stand.

"Yeah! Now I look like a damn pussy!" He rushes to his feet and heads to his own shitty truck. The rusty piece of shit screeches out of the parkin' lot.

"Go fuck yourself, Mike," I mutter, deciding now is a good time to go home. Maybe God is punishin' me for having that half beer.

But hell, it was good.

James' truck passes by as he leaves, and I glare at his back lights as they disappear into the distance alongside Mike.

A part of me hopes James crashes and gets hurt for being such an evil fucker. But I ain't wantin' to be like that anymore, so instead I look up and ask the man upstairs to help him get home, even though I want to kill him myself.

~RN~

"_Mama!"_

"_I'm so sorry, baby."_

"_Mama, please I'm hungry."_

"_If I open this door, you know he'll get mad at both of us."_

"_But my belly hurts…"_

"_You've been a bad boy, Eddie. You know your father only wants you to learn. God has to punish you."_

"_I'll be good, I promise! I won't chase Rocky into the mud no more! I'll be a good boy."_

"_Think about your sins, Son. Think about them. Ask the Lord for forgiveness, before you drown in your wicked ways and die a horrible death in the arms of evil."_

I don't sleep very well. The goddamn nightmares are back. They go away and then come back. It had been the longest I've gone without one. But I guess the night at the bar which I thought would turn out fun, didn't do any good.

I get up at five in the mornin' to get to work at six. I curse at Emmett for convincin' me that going out last night would be a good idea. Sure I had fun, but now I feel like death from stayin' up so late. And my left eye ain't completely shut, but it's purple, bruised, and it hurts like a fiery hell. I swear if I see James today, I'll return the favor.

But I don't wanna get fired.

I sigh and make myself breakfast. I can cook a mean scrambled egg with jalapeños. Livin' alone for so long makes a man do crazy things, like learnin' how to cook and clean.

I run out of time so I stuff the scrambled egg into a tortilla and head to work.

Even at this unholy hour of the early day, the roads are jammed and people are already pissin' me off with their shitty drivin.' We're really overpopulated in this town.

I barely make it to work on time. I stamp my timecard and when I turn to say my awkward hello to Angela, I find her cryin' and comforting Mandy, the payroll lady, who is in worse condition.

"What's goin' on? Everything alright?" I ask. The women don't say anything and continue whimpering to themselves.

"Edward?"

I turn and find a gloomed face Jasper with his trucker hat tightly held in his hands.

"Hey, Jasper. What's goin' on?"

He sighs and nods towards the door. I follow him, worried as hell for what might have happened. The way his head bobs down with every slow step gives me a bad feeling. He finally stops; I'm guessing he wanted to get away from hearin' distance from the ladies in the office.

"What the hell happened?" I ask, impatient with his silence.

"Carlisle will be off for a while," he finally answers. He rubs his red neck and looks down at the ground again.

"Why? I thought his vacation was gonna be in a few weeks."

"Somethin' bad happened last night. His son Peter and his fiancée Bella were a horrible car accident. It was a hit and run."

"Damn, that sucks. Are they okay?"

"Bella is in critical condition in the hospital, but Peter…" Jasper pauses. I had never seen him this distraught. Jasper is always a cool and collective guy. "Peter died. It looks like he died instantly after the crash."

I don't know what to say. I feel horrible for Mr. Carlisle. He's been nothin' but kind to me. He's a great man. Nobody deserves to lose a child like that, but knowin' him makes it worse.

Jasper pats my shoulder and tells me we gotta move on and work. That's what Carlisle would want.

"Charles Swan is puttin' Billy Black in Carlise's command spot for the meantime, meanin' the leads will have to work extra. Can I trust you to help me out? You're the only responsible man I know and trust."

"Of course. I'll help ya, Jasper."

"Thanks, Edward," he says and places his hat over his blonde hair. "I used to hang out with Pete all the time. We got distant for a while, but it still hurts to see him go. He was a nice kid. Smart and dedicated to the church, his schoolin' and his family, that's the way everyone knew him. We really don't know how long we have in this world, Edward. We gotta make it count while we're here I always say. May God rest his soul."

As Jasper walks away, I can't help but agree with him. I just hope I have enough time to take back every wrongful thing I've done. If a nice person like Peter Cullen had the fate he had, what's stopping the Lord from taking me, a sinful and broken man.

~R~

BPOV

"_She's been asleep for a long time!"_

"_Mr. Swan, this was to be expected. The surgery went fine. Now we have to wait for Isabella to wake up."_

"_But for how long?"_

"_Hours. Days__, __even."_

"_But the funeral will be in three days!"_

"_I'm sorry, Mrs. Swan. I have no control. It's up to Isabella now."_

"_Lord help you Dr. Medina if my daughter doesn't wake up."_

The pain is agonizing. I just wish someone would put me out of my misery. I'm cold. I can feel the shiver rocking my sore and broken body.

There is a beeping sound in the background and it won't let me rest. I think it's a reminder that I'm still alive. I can hear and feel someone speaking to me. The vibrations of the voice keep pulling me from the abyss of my dreams. There is a hand holding mine. The warmth of it mixes with the coldness of mine, sending a chill up my arm.

I think I hear myself groan.

I'm trying so hard to let go of my sleep and come back into reality. It's a tug of war in between my mind and my soul. I pray for strength.

Suddenly the screeching sound of that truck, and the image Peter's bloody face make my heart race and make me gasp for air.

"Bella, baby, you're going to be okay. You're gonna be just fine," my mother says as she holds me down.

I open my eyes and after I'm momentarily blinded by the brightness of the room, I find her face staring down at me.

"Mom?" I hear my thick voice ask. I try to clear my throat, but it's too dry and it hurts.

She nods and with the movement of her head, the tears in her blue eyes fall on my face.

"Yes, baby. It's me, your mama. I'm not leavin' your side."

I lick my dry lips and beg for water. She makes me suck through a straw and I'm so relieved when the cool liquid hits my tongue and especially my sore throat.

"What happened to me?" Though I remember the accident happening, I don't remember anything else.

"You were in a car accident, sweetie. Your leg is broken and some ribs too. You had a nasty head bump, but the doctor says that was the least of your worries and that it's over now. You had some internal bleeding they had to stop. But God is great and you're gonna be okay."

I nod, not really believing I could get out of this horrible pain. I really feel like crying because it hurts so much. I moan and complain, hoping she'll do something like she always did when I had a fever or a scrape when I was a little girl.

"Mama, it hurts," I whimper.

"I know, honey. I'm gonna call the nurse. Maybe they can give you some pain medication." She starts heading out the hospital room.

"Mom?"

She stops and turns to face me. "Yes?"

"Where's Peter?"

I can see how my question had made her nervous. She shakes her head and fidgets with her hands. She looks at everything in the room, but me.

"Mom? Where's Peter?" I repeat my question.

"Honey, how about I go get the nurse and we can talk later."

"No! Where is Peter?"

Her lip quivers and her eyes, once again fill with tears.

"No!" I shout. I can see the answer in her face, but I refuse to believe it.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie. They did everything they could, but he didn't make it."

"No!" I shout. "You're not real! What you're sayin' isn't real! No!" I can feel how painful each of my movements and hollers are, but I don't give a damn.

I continue to shout and grab at things. I pull at my bed sheets and at tubes and cords, until I feel multiple hands holding me down.

"You don't understand!" I shout at the medical staff. "You don't understand!"

They don't understand that I've lost him. I've lost Peter.

I continue to sob until I know I've fallen into a deep sleep again. But not even the sleep can make the pain of my reality go away.

* * *

**Thoughts?**

**Leave me some love in the review box.**

**NLG will have an update this weekend. So stick around. **


	4. A Kinder Day

**Hello everyone, sorry for the long wait. But I am back on track. Thanks again for the love! I enjoy reading your reviews. They help for inspiration! just sayin.**

**Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for her beta skills and support. Any mistakes are mine for deciding to add stuff at the last minute!**

_Disclaimer…there are a lot of references to religion and politics. Keep in mind that I'm basing it on my hometown and everything you read, from comments about George Bush to God are all things people around here say. The reason I include them is because Edward and Bella's surroundings will affect their relationship. _

* * *

Chapter 3- A Kinder Day

"Your father asked for you again."

"Really?"

"Yes. You know he loves you, Son."

"I got a raise at work, Ma. I'm making good money. I think I might buy myself a pickup. A new one. I might even move to a better apartment."

I hear my old mother sigh. She never wins with me. I bet it's frustrating.

"That's good Son. I always knew you were a great worker. You best thank the Lord."

"Uh-huh."

"Have you been to church lately?"

"No, Ma'am."

"Son, why don't you find yourself a home in the Lord's presence and thank him for your success? You've always been a good man. You've always been a God-fearing man."

"I'll ask around and see what I can find. I gotta go now, Ma."

"Alright, Son. God bless and goodnight."

"Yeah, night."

~RN~

Carlisle hasn't been the same since his son, Peter Cullen, died six months ago. He used to be all smiles and handshakes with the oilfield men. Now, he just walks around, nods, doesn't say much, gives his orders and then hides in his office. I'm not a father, but I imagine losing a son must be the worst feelin' in the world.

He's still respectful towards me and gives me encouraging words whenever he catches me doing a good job, but it just ain't the same.

"I hear the Bella ain't doin' so well," Angela says to Mrs. Cope as I punch my timecard. "They haven't seen her at the church since the funeral. She also dropped out of the university."

"Poor thing," Mrs. Cope adds. "Imagine losing the man of your life right before the wedding? I bet she's heartbroken."

"Meh, I mean Bella was always a bitch in high school. She and her group of preps thought they were the shit just because they live in El Dorado and their daddies make loads of money. I kinda hate her, but she didn't deserve this. Pete was a nice guy too."

After givin' her intellectual opinion, Angela turns and finds me looking at them. I quickly look down at my dirty boots. It ain't like me to be snooping around. But I can't help but feel bad for this Bella girl. I ain't never been in love, so I can't compare a loss, but I hope she's getting through this.

"Hey, Edward, you doing okay today?" She grins at me. I notice she's wearin' a lot of eye makeup. It's not very flatterin'. I really wish she would get the clue that I don't like her that way. I mean, she's pretty and all, but she don't seem like my type of girl. She looks like she loves to gossip and watch dumb shit on TV. She might even listen to shitty music. I bet she's clingy with her men.

I nod and give her a forced smile.

"Just wanna get home is all."

"Oh, well you have a great evening."

"You too," I mutter.

As I walk towards my truck, I see Jasper talkin' to some workers. When his eyes catch me, he waves me to him. "Hey, Mase, why don't ya come over here for a minute?" I nod and walk over to my boss.

He takes off his worn-out trucker hat and runs an oil stained hand through his sweaty, blonde hair. He looks shit tired. Ever since Carlisle took the time off to mourn his son, and even when he came back, Jasper has been picking up the slack. If anyone ever said that he don't do much, ain't darin' to say it again. His red neck and sweaty shirt say nothin' but hard work.

"Mase, I just wanted to make sure you're still up for the challenge. Are you still coming with me to Houston for that leadership training?"

I chuckle and give him a nod. He knows there ain't nothin' I want more.

"That's great. With this oil boom, we're gettin' more and more business and more men working. I just know it will be very soon before Charlie Swan and Carlisle Cullen hire another crew leader. I ain't supposed to say this, but I'm gonna work really hard for you to be that man they find to lead. You're the best we got, man."

"Thank you, Jasper."

He chuckles and rubs his red neck. "Nah, no need to thank me, man. Just saying the truth."

"Well, I still appreciate it."

He pats me on the back and starts to walk away.

"Hey, Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"I know this might be a little random, but do you know of a good church I can go to?"

He laughs. "Sure! Cross Paths is where I go. Carlisle and Charles go there too. It's a good place with a lot of good people."

Knowing Carlisle and Charles go there I just know it's full of wealthy people. What I've learned in my life is that it don't matter if it's the Lord's home, if you got money, you got money. You're still gonna feel it in your pocket. Even in the presence of the Holy Father, you're still gonna know it and act like it.

"I know what you're thinkin' and believe me I don't blame ya.' But it's a great place. Why don't you come with me on Sunday? And if you don't like it, I'll personally look for another church for ya."

"Deal," I tell him.

~RN~

"You know what's better than Rosa's fajitas?" Emmett asks with a mouth full of meat and onions.

"Em, close your damn mouth, you fool," Rose scolds him.

"What is?" I ask, laughing at the idiot as I sit across from them.

"Not a goddamn thing! This shit is holy. The Mexicans know what they're doin.' Bringing their food over to the white folks is probably making them a fortune."

Rose laughs. "This place is owned by a white man."

"Fuck, Really? That's funny."

I stare as Emmett uses his oil stained hands to make himself a burrito, and then shove the whole thing in his mouth. He's a fucking monster.

"So, Mase, any luck with the ladies as of late?" Rose asks while she scratches at the bright ink on her arm.

Emmett laughs, spillin' some beans on the table. "Mase here is shy as fuck. Every time we go to the bar he barely says two words to the girl shoving her tongue down his throat. That's why they don't stay."

Rose rolls her eyes and hands her husband a napkin. "I'm sure it's because they ain't decent bitches. Why even make an effort?" She says. "Besides, you're a great man, Edward Masen. I'm sure you'll find a special gal."

"All I know is that when we go to San Antonio in two months for our vacation, you better be talking to the ladies. I hear there are some _chicas bonitas_ down there," Emmett jokes.

"I'm sure."

~RN~

"Are you sure it's okay for me to tag along with you and your mother?" I ask Jasper. We're currently in the living room of his mother's amazing house.

The Whitlocks sure do have money. They even have one of them fancy little dogs with a bunch of hair that wouldn't scare anybody and are kinda pathetic and needy. He keeps runnin' around me, lickin' my boots.

Damn little thing.

"It's just church, Mase. I mean I feel bad enough that my mother is going to ask ya a lot of questions, because nobody should have to deal with her, but you're fine."

I nod and just hope Mrs. Whitlock don't notice my dirty boots. I tried findin' the best button shirt and jeans I own, but no matter how much I cleaned them, my boots still looked like hell.

"If she asks you a lot of uncomfortable questions about religion and politics, just cough and I'll hush her up," he tells me.

Mrs. Whitlock is an old, white woman with loads of money. She has Jesus Christ on her mind and heart right next George W. Bush.

She also has wanderin' eyes.

I try not to squirm when her eyes roam my face and body. I sure as hell don't know what to do. Jasper don't notice his mother's curiosity for me, and she knows it.

Crazy old lady.

"This is a nice place," I tell them as we walk up to the church. Its two stories high and it's almost as big as a shopping mall.

"You know how Texans love Jesus," Jasper jokes and leads me through the crowd.

I quickly become nervous as I notice all the rich folk and their nice Sunday clothes. They are all beautiful and blonde. I think of what I must look like.

Messy bronze hair and a wrinkled shirt.

At least I shaved this morning.

We sit in the back as the pastor starts getting ready to talk. I nervously shove my hands together and tap my foot.

"Sorry I haven't been around," I whisper. "But I'm here today. Give me strength to deal with these high end people."

I look around as everyone finds their seat. There is a short young woman with black spiky hair joking around with a group of girls, but nobody else is giving her any attention.

Except Jasper.

His blue eyes move every time she moves. They follow her like a hawk watching it's pray.

"You like her?" I ask.

He snaps out of his trance and clears his throat. He nervously chuckles and fixes his tie that needs no fixin.'

"Alice Brandon? Are you crazy, Mase? I couldn't care any less for that crazy woman. She's a liberal and supports abortion and gays. Also, I've heard she's a lesbian."

I laugh. He didn't sound like he believed anything he said. He didn't believe it or he really doesn't care for her left winger beliefs.

"She sure does look like she don't belong here, but she ain't a lesbian, Jasper."

"Yeah, she sure is. Look at her. She has short hair and a piercing on her right eyebrow, just above her pretty green eyes."

"Well I'll show her what a man can do. She's cute. I might approach her after this is over."

"What? Mase, you're in God's house. Why you talkin' about hittin' on that woman She-sh-she wouldn't want you anyway?" He stutters.

I laugh. "I'm just messin' with ya. Why you gettin' so mad? I thought you didn't care about her."

He clears his throat and turns to his mother who is distracted, talkin' to another older lady.

"I'm just sayin'…not here."

"Sure, whatever, Jasper." I chuckle again.

I wait around for a few minutes. I fiddle with the bible in my hands and try not to listen to the conversations around me. It's surprising some of these people can think the way they do. They don't even shut their nonsense in the presence of the All Mighty.

The group of women in front of me suddenly stop gossipin' and turn to face the entrance of the church. Their eyes widen and their mouths drop.

I turn around to see what has their attention.

The first person I see is Charles Swan.

He walks straight in and clears some booth space at the front and then waves for the rest of his company to come in.

An older woman walks in with an arm wrapped around a younger woman's back.

The young woman is wearing dark clothes and has messy brown hair. I don't get to see her face very well, but from what I can see she don't seem very happy.

She slowly walks to the front and sits next to Charles Swan.

A few of the women around the room start whisperin' to each other.

"Damn women," Jasper sighs. "They just can't leave her alone."

My eyes stayed glued on the sorrowful woman. I slide a little to the end of my seat so I can get a better look. I can only see the side of her face but that's enough to know that she's a beautiful lady.

"Who is she, Jasper?"

"That's Bella Swan, Charlie Swan's daughter."

"The one in the accident?" I whisper.

"Yeah, his only daughter. Poor girl hasn't left the house. This is the first time she's come to church since Peter's funeral."

"Can't blame her. You come here to praise the Lord but it's a little hard to give anyone any praise when you're life is turned upside."

The pastor starts talkin' and I hold my hands together and sit up straight.

"_You gonna sit up, boy! There ain't no slouchin' in the Lord's home!" He roughly whispers in my ear while he takes a tight hold of my neck. _

_He squeezes hard makin' me jump in my seat. I wanna turn around and ask my mother to help me. He's hurtin' me, but I know she will be too afraid to do anything._

"God says to love your neighbor," the pastor says, bringing me out of my memory.

My back starts hurtin' after a few minutes. It's been bad for weeks now. I ain't got time or the money to go see a doctor. Eli says he knows a lady,_ la_ _curandera_, that will fix it, but I keep forgettin' to ask em about her.

I try to move around in my seat so it won't hurt so bad, but there is no use. I try to pay attention to the Lord's words, but the pain in my back and my wandering eyes that can't seem to forget about young Bella Swan won't let me.

I look at her. She don't seem very interested in what the pastor has to say. She just stares at the floor while Charles rubs her back and her mother runs her hands through her messy curls.

"Bad things are gonna happen to you. The devil will want you to question God. But you can't fall. Don't fall for it! God has his reasons. You just have to be tough and look up for answers. Look up! Things happen for a reason."

Bella suddenly stands and snaps away when her mother tries to hold her back. She don't look at anybody or anywhere else besides the floor and starts walkin' to the exit. When her mother is about to follow her, Charles makes her sit down.

Bella has a small limp and tears running down her face as she makes her way out the church. She looks shattered.

I know the feeling.

I wait a few minutes, before walking after her. When nobody is lookin' at her direction anymore, I tell Jasper my back is killin' me and that I need to stretch.

When I reach the outside of the church, the cool breeze of the Sunday morning hits my face. I look around for the broken girl, and when my eyes find her standing under a tree, my feet act before I can think.

Suddenly I'm standin' behind her. I stare as her small shoulders shake with her quiet sobs.

"Ma'am?" I ask. She doesn't turn or move. "I know there is pain in your heart, but tomorrow will be kinder. I know it seems like a cruelty that I'm saying this to you now, but you'll see. I've seen it."

Her shoulders stop shakin' and she slowly turns and faces me.

And God bless me.

I ain't never seen a prettier face.

Pretty.

It don't seem accurate.

Beautiful still ain't enough.

Even with her tear-stained cheeks, reddened and wet eyes and furrowed eyebrows, Isabella Swan is the face of pure beauty. Her brown eyes glue themselves to my face, and my green does the same with hers.

I wouldn't be able to tell a soul how long we stood there, just starin' at each other with the wind blowin' her hair's sweet scent towards me. I wouldn't be able to say how my heart raced, and at the same time felt a peace it never had. I might be losin' my mind, but I know what I'm seeing.

I saw it a few years ago when I faced death. As I lay in a pool of my own blood, waitin' for the good Lord to finally take me; I saw a light of hope for life. It filled my heart and soul and I lived. I felt alive even when science would say that I was minutes away from taking my last breath. That beautiful light was the sweet and peaceful contradiction to death itself.

That's what Isabella is.

How can she not believe a brighter day exists when she herself is the face of that same light I saw? I hope she can see it.

Her crying has stopped and though the wind is drying the tears on her cheeks, the pain is still visible there. No wind could take that away.

I just wish I knew what to do to make it better.

Not one word is spoken, but she lets me move a strand of her messy hair behind her ear. She closes her eyes and exhales a broken breath.

"Sorrow eyes…your sorrowful eyes will see ahead once again."

"How do you know that?" she asks, her voice full of hope. Her eyes are beggin' me to give her an answer or solution to her broken heart even though I'm just a simple man of simple means.

"I just do. You will move forward once again, I swear it," I say, because there is hope for her. There has to be. I believe it with my whole scarred heart.

Her eyes fill with tears, but before she can say anything else someone shouts her name. She looks towards the voice and suddenly our sacred moment ends and we're back into the world that took her happiness. It's no longer just the two of us.

Two blonde women walk towards us.

I step back as they ignore me and walk straight to her, wrapping Bella in their arms.

"Let's go back. Your parents are worried sick, Bella," one of them says.

"Everyone was whispering and asking what had happened. It was quite the scandal," the other one says.

They lead her back towards the church, but before she gets too far, she turns and looks my way one last time.

I give her a smile, and though she doesn't return it, I hope she feels it.

~RN~

_BPOV_

"Bella, baby you can't just lie in bed all day," my mother says.

"I can. I have been," I mutter into my pillow. I just wish my mother would let me be. These past months have been…difficult.

Do I not deserve a single moment alone to mourn properly?

I love my mother and father, but it's almost as if they are afraid to leave me alone for one minute. If they aren't around, they have the maid walk by my room and check on me every hour.

Everyone has left me alone. Why can't they?

"I know you're having a hard time, Honey. But time has passed and it's time you moved on. I'm sure Peter himself wouldn't want to be spending your life like this."

"Please don't say his name, Mom. Please, just let me be." Even the mention of his name is painful. The guilt takes over and I don't know what to do. It's a desperate feeling. It's as if I'm drowning and I have no hope for one, last breath.

She sighs in frustration, kisses my cheek and leaves the bedroom.

Finally.

~RN~

Green eyes.

Green eyes.

I've stared at the white walls in my room for so long that I'm starting to see things.

Green eyes.

"_Tomorrow will be kinder."_

I keep holding onto that man's words. I hold onto them as if they were some sort of life support. At times I become angry with him. How dare he promise me a kinder future if the past clouds above me, hiding me of any light? But then I start falling. I start falling into the sadness and pain that have caught and held onto me for the past six months like a cancer. After that, I reach for the legs of that man's words.

"_Tomorrow will be kinder."_

"Daddy?"

Charlie snaps his head in my direction. I've never seen him this worried about me. Usually when I had problems, he would just nod and give me a quick suggestion and not even look at me in the face. He was always politically correct with his advice. He never included any emotion or silly matters of the heart, but ever since the accident, he's been more attentive than ever before.

"What is it, sweetie? Does your leg hurt?"

"It always hurts, but I was wondering something."

"Yes?"

"Mama said I need to distract myself with something. I heard the other day, while you were on the phone. I heard you say that you need a secretary in your front office."

It takes him a moment to realize what I'm implying before he huffs and begins to shake his head, quickly rejecting the idea.

"No, ma'am. I will not have my daughter working for me at the oil rig."

"Well why not?"

"It's dangerous. It's a bunch of dirty men who spend twelve hours without seeing a woman, and when the go to punch out, they go crazy for the only women in the office."

"Dad, I'm sure if they know I'm your daughter they won't ever dare to talk to me or look my way. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of sleeping. I'm tired of just aging."

"What did Dr. Qasim say?"

"That damn Indian doesn't know what else to tell me. She just gives me meds and I don't want to take them. I don't want to feel like a zombie. I know I'm depressed, but I also know working will serve as a good distraction."

He takes a deep breath.

"Please, Daddy."

"You promise to tell me if anybody is disrespectful to you?"

"Yes."

"If I ever hear any man hitting on you, I will fire him and you, so you won't go back there."

"Yes, Dad, fire everyone, but just give me the job."

"I know I'm going to regret this, but fine.

You can have the job."

* * *

**Please leave me a comment with your thoughts! **

**Love you all! **

**And thanks to my fellow Texans for letting me know we're kinda' neighbors hehe**

**P.S If you wondering, I'm kinda like Alice haha. **


	5. Out of Place

**Thank you for the reviews! Keep em' comin.'**

******Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for her beta skills. Any mistakes are mine for deciding to add at the last minute! **

* * *

Chapter 4- Out of Place

BPOV

"You file these papers like this…oh, and make sure to call Carlisle or Charles if an emergency happens. Sometimes the boys will get hurt or have an accident on the road and will call us," Mrs. Cope tells me. I'm not sure I'm listening.

My mind is still under a heavy cloud. This was the first morning in months that I got up, showered, brushed my hair and tried to put some decent clothes on that weren't wrinkled.

The shrink said I have to start living life like a normal person and not some depressed woman who lost her fiancée and can't get over it.

I can't get over it.

"Honey, are you listening?"

I shake my head, trying to clear out my thoughts.

"Of course, Mrs. Cope."

"Well…" she takes a deep breath and gives me a look full of pity. She takes my hands in her much older freckled ones. "It must be awful to lose the one you love like you did, but you must know that Jesus will help you overcome this. You still have life," she tells me.

I gently pull my hands out of hers. "I don't feel it," I whisper to myself.

~RN~

"You actually started at a good time, Bella," Angela tells me. She's been sort of nice to me since the morning. I don't know if it's because she feels bad for me or because I look like shit. But she was never like this with me in high school. She was always a bitch and hated me for no damn reason. I think she hated me because my family has money and she comes from white trash parents.

Yeah, envy. That's what it was.

"Everyone gets paid today so we have to file their paychecks in their folders. They'll come in during lunch or after their shift to pick em' up or they have their wives get em."

I don't say anything and just nod. I head over towards the front computer of the office and try to do some work. It's not much. Anybody with brains could do this job, but I take my time. I don't want to go home.

Throughout the day, themen start coming in to get their checks.

They are the most disgusting individuals I've ever seen and had to listen to.

Sweaty, dirty and shameless assholes. They eye me from head to toes and even make suggestive remarks that I pretend not to hear.

"You'll get used to that," Angela says. "I once flipped one off and he stopped, but then I did it to another one and he liked it and wouldn't stop bothering me. I just made it worse! But what can you do about it? They're just men."

I look at her as if she's grown two heads. "Are you serious, Angela? That's sexual harassment."

"Well that got you talk in,'" she laughs. "I don't worry about it too much, Bella. They just like seeing women after a long day."

"That's not an excuse. You should tell my dad, he would put a stop to it."

She nervously looks around and then back at me. "Lower your voice, Bella, I don't want to get fired."

"Why would you get fired?"

"It's just that everyone knows boys will be boys and Charles doesn't like whiny secretaries."

"That's ridiculous," I mutter.

She starts typing at her own computer again, with her long nails. That sound and her voice have been driving me further into insanity. "Besides, it's not so bad when the cute guys do it," she starts up again. "But then it sucks when the ones you want don't. Like him for example."

I look up to see who she is talking and then _he_ walks into the office.

It's him.

Green eyes.

The stranger from church.

He pays us no attention while he takes off his dirty uniform jacket, leaving him in a dirtier white t-shirt that sticks to his fit body. I stare at his biceps as they flex with his movements. I trace the strong vein there, up until it disappears under his shirt.

I shake my head.

_What the hell?_

He folds the jacket over his arm and finally looks our way.

"Good afternoon, ladies," he says. He's the only one that has showed any decency around here all day. He pauses when he notices me. His eyes widen and I can see how his mouth drops a little. "Hello, Ms. Isabella. How are you this afternoon?"

"Fine," I say coldly. "May I help you?" I ask, again in an icy tone. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I'm acting this way.

"I need to pick up my paycheck," he says, unaffected by my attitude.

"Name?"

"Edward Masen."

I dig through the files until I find the envelope with his check. I toss it across the wooden desk that stands between us.

I place my hand on my waist, raise an eyebrow and dare him to say anything else.

_He isn't doing anything!_

He smiles to himself, takes his check, shoves it in the right pocket of his dirty jeans and gives me a nod.

"Have a great afternoon, Miss," he says and leaves.

That's it? That's all he has to say?

"Um, why were you so rude to him?" Angela asks.

I ignore her and return to my computer. "I wasn't."

She laughs. "Ooookay. If you say so. He's a nice guy. Very reserved. He ain't like most of the pigs that came in today."

"Angela, please let it go. I need to concentrate on my work and don't have time for gossip or fooling around," I say.

Her eyes fall.

She doesn't say anything else to me for the rest of the afternoon.

~RN~

"Bella?"

"Hey, Lauren."

"Oh, wow. You're calling me? Are you okay, hon?"

"I'm calling you. Isn't that a good sign?"

She giggles, but we've been friends since first grade, so I know that laughter isn't honest.

"Yeah, I guess it is good. What's up?"

"I was wondering…I was just thinking…maybe you and Tanya would like to have coffee or something at Starbucks. I haven't really talked to you guys in forever."

"More like in sixmonths. Coffee does sound great!"

"So it's a date. What time?"

"Oh no, sorry, Bella Boo, we're in Austin right now."

"Austin?"

"Yes, we're on vacay."

I don't understand and I try not get upset. "Why didn't you guys tell me? Maybe I would have come."

"You wouldn't have, babe. Besides, you're just getting better. Why would you want to jump right in? You know Austin is a crazy party town."

I take a deep breath and try to reason with my friend. "Okay, that's okay…it's okay, right?"

"Of course! We'll see you when we get back. Kisses, friend! Bye!" She says cheerfully and hangs up.

I lie back down and try not to think of anything.

But there's no use.

~RN~

"Mom, you have to take me to work."

"What?"

"I woke up late and Dad already left."

She laughs and continues shopping online. "Hon, just take the day off."

"You know I can't. This is a real job, Mom."

"You're working for Daddy. It's not a real job."

"Mom! Please help me get out of this house."

"Here," she says and hands me her keys. "Just take my car."

I haven't driven since…

"Okay. Thank you."

Interstate 20 is crazier than I remember. I hold onto the steering wheel for dear life until my hands hurt. I don't realize I've arrived to the oilrig until Angela knocks on my window.

"You comin'?" she asks.

I nod and follow her into the office.

It's another long day. Angela and Mrs. Cope don't even try to make conversation with me today. They bicker and gossip about people and faces I don't know.

I stare at my computer screen. At times I catch myself thinking of nothing at all. No images. No thoughts. I just sit in my office chair, waiting for something to happen.

It's almost lunchtime. I don't know where I'm going to go. I really don't want to drive anywhere.

I don't want to die.

I sip on some water in the back. Charlie is talking to someone in his office and I try not to listen, but he's loud. He's always been a loud man.

"I don't care what it takes. I don't care if they have to sweat extra. Get that damn pipe fixed!"

"Yes, sir."

"And if you can't fix it, Jasper, I'll find someone to replace you faster than you can say Jesus Christ. Now get out of my office and don't come back with sorry ass excuses."

Suddenly the door opens and Jasper Whitlock, former part of my high school circle, and Peter's goodfriend, walks out.

He's drenched in black oil and sweat. He looks discouraged and stressed out of his mind until he sees me. "Hey, Bells. How are ya'?"

I just nod. "Good."

His dad always had good money, until he died. He left his wife and son a big house and a few debts. They paid off the debts with the money that was left, and now he works for my Dad. Everyone thinks he's still wealthy, but my Dad said he's broke as hell and that I shouldn't have any of my friends date him.

"I'm glad you're working," he says and places his trucker hat over his sweaty blonde curls. "Have a great day, Bella. If you ever need anything, let me know." He starts walking away and I stare as he drags his heavy boots across the floor.

I feel bad for him. I wonder if my father is like that with everyone or if Jasper just screwed up.

"Bella?" Mrs. Cope calls.

"Yes?"

"An Alice Brandon is here and asking for you."

"Alice?" I ask in disbelief. I've been ignoring her calls and texts, just like I've done with everyone else and haven't seen her in months. I walk to the front to find the short and tiny dark haired girl, standing there with flowers in her hands.

"Bella!" She screeches, and without waiting for my reaction, runs into my arms and tightly hugs me. "I've been trying to get in contact with you for ages! How are you? Do you wanna grab some coffee? Starbucks is busy as hell, but maybe we can manage to grab a table."

I freeze, take a deep breath and just nod.

She squeals with joy, takes my hand and leads me out the door and to her car. As we drive off, I notice Jasper staring at us.

"Have you noticed Jasper Whitlock and the looks he gives me?" She asks. "Like I don't know if he likes or hates me…anyway, how have you been, Bella?"

I smile.

I actually smile for once.

I can hear the honesty in her voice.

"I'm alive," I answer.

"Are you sure? Because I think my definition of alive is different from yours."

"Perhaps."

"I guess we'll have to fix that," she says as she gets her small, blue Ford Focus onto I-20.

"I just remembered thatI left work without even asking!"

Alice throws her head back into a laughing attack.

"We'll fix that too. I'll say I forced you. Anyway, let's listen to some non-country, hipster shit!"

I giggle as she shoves her iPod into my hands so I can plug it into her sound system.

I think I still have some life left and I owe it all to my crazy friend, Alice…the liberal feminist.

My mother and father would be horrified.

I smile to myself at the thought.

~RN~

Alice Brandon talks to me about, music, movies, books and more books. She talks about shopping. She talks about her trip to Canada and how she's working two jobs just to afford it. She talks about how she wants a tattoo on her back and wants to join the Democrat group at the university. She asks me about all of the above and never about how I'm feeling, Peter, my injured leg, therapy or the accident. She also just listens to me. Doesn't judge me or question what I'm going through.

She just listens.

And I think I love her.

I don't know why it took me so long to realize again how amazing she is.

But my joy to have her back in my life doesn't last long. Before I know it, I find myself staring at my mashed potatoes as my parents, along with the Smiths and thePrestons talk about their trips to Las Vegas and Costa Rica.

They talk about ski boats, buying homes in different cities for their vacations and shit I can't force myself to care about anymore. I excuse myself from the table and my parents don't seem to mind.

I cry myself to sleep, not knowing how else to handle the sadness in my heart.

~RN~

Mom once again let me drive her car to work today.

It was making a strange noise when I tried starting it, but once it roared with life, I ignored it and headed to work.

My leg is killing me today. I haven't been to therapy all week, but I sure will need to take myself soon. Mama is busy with the Prestons. They're planning another trip and Dad is busy with the company. He says Carlisle has been slacking lately.

I sit at the front desk wincing in pain at the computer. I broke the femur and tore some muscles. It hurts like hell once in a while, andI get bad cramps that drive me insane.

"You alright?" I hear his husky voice ask. I turn my head up and find his green eyes filled with genuine worry for me.

Even though I'm a prideful woman, I dare myself two seconds to wander the features of his face. More stubble on that jawline and oil stains on his cheeks…

"I'm fine!" I snap. "What do you need?"

At first he doesn't answer and just studies my face. I don't know what he's looking for. Is he expecting for me to give him the answers to whatever questions he has about me? I don't need his inquiries or for him to waste my time.

"I just need to know if I can talk to Mr. Swan? He asked for me to come."

I sigh in annoyance with him. "What's your name again?"

Edward Masen.

Of course I know his name.

"I'm Edward Masen," he answers gently.

Why doesn't he react? Why doesn't he yell back? Is he alive? Is he awake? I wish he would just say something!

"Yes, he's in a meeting right now, but sit down and I'll get you when he's ready for you," I say.

He gives me a good nod and heads over to one of the chairs in the waiting area. I try to busy myself and keep my glances away from the man that my eyes seem to wander to.

I take a quick glance and make sure he can't see me staring.

There are small scars on his face and his nose looks like it's been broken before. I can see ink under his sleeves. I wonder what kind of tattoos that Edward White Trash Masen is into.

I suddenly guilty for calling him that.

I don't know why. I think of it for all the dirty men that come in here.

There are the dirty Mexicans with their staring, the occasional black guy with a bad attitude and then the white trash. They all have things in common though. Besides looking poor and dirty, they work for my dad. They chose this hard manual labor. They all probably sucked in school or dropped out to do drugs, and now they're stuck doing this. They'll always be stuck in Odessa, Texas.

Suddenly the guilt of thinking about Edward Masen like that goes away. He looks just like all of them.

I wonder how Edward Masen was in school or how he was overall when he was younger. I bet he did a lot of stupid shit and maybe even drugs. I bet he's even been in jail. He looks like the jail type. I bet he gets drunk sometimes.

Unlike Peter.

Pete was such a great guy.

"He's ready for you," I tell Masen.

He smiles at me; actinglike a damn gentleman as he nods and thanks me before disappearing intomy dad's office.

That's how it goes for the rest of the week.

He'll come in, I'll be rude and ask for his name, even though I already know it, and ask him to wait even though dad is ready for him.

He's never rude and never loses his patience with me. For a rough looking man, he sure is gentle with his words and mannerisms.

"May I help you?"

He gives me a smile. It's one of those kind of smiles you give people when they're being hateful but you're trying to have patient with.

"Yes, I need to speak to Carlisle."

"Your name?"

He smiles again. "Edward Masen…same as yesterday," he says.

I glare at him, but that doesn't bother him one bit.

"Well, Masen, Carlisle is busy right now, so why don't you take a seat?"

"I sure will. Thank you," he says and heads over to the same seat as always.

It's silent for a while. The only sound is my keyboard as I type up reports for Dad.

"Have you ever gone to the beach and dug your toes into the sand?" He suddenly asks.

I raise my eyebrow at him. "Excuse me?"

"It's a hell of a lotta fun. Of course there ain't no beach or even water around these parts, but South Texas does. Sit on the sand, let the sun hit ya' on your skin and let it warm up your soul. Throw in a few beers and that's heaven for sure."

"What are you even talking about?" I ask, because I'm really confused as to where this conversation is going.

"I used to have this buddy, Rick, he used to make the meanest Bar-B-Q chicken in Texas. He would turn on some country music, invite some ladies over and dance the night away."

I continue glaring at him.

"Those memories make me smile," he says. "I'd rather think of those things than about my father for example. He's the meanest son of a bitch in all of Texas. He used to grab a fly swatter and beat the shit out of me when I would act a fool. But I don't try and ruin my day thinkin' bout him. I'd rather be thinkin' of my toes in the sand and margaritas."

"He's ready for you," I tell him, trying to ignore his blabber.

He chuckles and walks towards me. He places his hands on top of the counter.

"Maybe you can think of things that make you smile, Ms. Swan. It'll do you some good. God knows you need to from time to time to save your soul."

He walks away, leaving me staring at my computer screen with no words to throw back at him.

~RN~

"You stupid car!" I shout.

My eyes start to tear up. I know I shouldn't be crying like an idiot, but I am. I'm just tired and frustrated. I just want to get home.

I turn the key again, hoping the car will come to life, but it doesn't.

I cry into my hands feeling bad for myself because I don't know what to do. Dad is out in the fields and I don't know who else that could help me.

"You need help?" He asks. I jump at his sudden appearance outside my window.

"No!" I shout.

He chuckles.

"I think it's your battery. You might need a new one. It don't sound too good."

"Well, Daddy can fix it."

"You're right, but he won't be back until late tonight. I could help you."

I wipe my face and look at him.

The sun is behind him, lighting the whiskers of his almost beard and the small hairs on his arms. His green eyes wait for me to answer him. They're bright too, and a wonderful contrast to his pale but reddened skin and dark hair. They are patient eyes. They wait for me.

They wait for me to let him help me.

"Can you help me?" I ask.

He chuckles again. "Sure. Open the hood."

"How do I do that?!" I ask in panic.

"Calm down, princess. Just hit the button with the picture of a hood being opened."

I throw another glare at him, but go in search of this stupid button. When I finally find it, I jump in my seat and press it. When I hear the hood become unlocked, I look over to Masen to make sure he knows I'm not stupid, but he doesn't care.

He walks over to the front of the car and starts inspecting it.

What if he steals something?

I get out of the car and stand by his side.

He's tall!

So much taller than me. My head barely reaches his pecs.

"Yeah, it's the battery. You won't be able to fix it. You need a new one. I can jump start it and you can drive it to a mechanic, but I can't guarantee that you'll make it all the way to one."

"What?! I thought you were supposed to help me?"

"I am! I'm tellin' ya what to do! I'm givin' ya the options.

"You're not giving me any options! You're just telling me I'm screwed!"

"Well you could do that or you could ride with me. I'll take you to a good shop, I'll show you what battery you need, you buy it, I drive you back and install it for you and problem solved."

I take a deep breath. I look around, hoping someone else will help me, but Edward Masen is all I have.

"Fine, but if you hurt me my daddy is a very important man and he'll…"

"Yeah, yeah princess, he'll kill me, now just follow me to my truck."

"Don't call me that," I shout, as I follow his foolish ass to his truck. I huff and puff as I try to catch up. He doesn't even wait for me. He walks too fast and my leg hurts, but he isn't even looking back or giving a shit.

"Then don't act like one."

"I am not! Wait for me! You walk too damn fast."

"Well, we're on a mission. We ain't got time for slowness."

"I have an injured leg, asshole!"

He chuckles. "Well rub some dirt on it and get movin.'"

"I think you were raised by apes, you damn animal."

"If only I had been so lucky."

"Ugh."

We finally get to an old, beat up Chevy truck. It has a few dents and the color is fading away.

"This is what you're driving me in?"

He chuckles again. "Yes. Ain't she a beauty? Unlike your fancy car over there, its battery does work. Oh, let me open the door for ya.'"

I roll my eyes and raise my hand to stop him. "I don't need your help to open a goddamn door."

He laughs loudly. "I know you ain't a cripple, but this damn door don't open easy. Just let me do it for you. I know its tricks."

I huff and let him open the door.

* * *

**Let me know what ya think! **

**Leave me some thoughts in the review box! Much appreciated.**

**If ya'll want, follow me on twitter at HelloElla90…maybe? eeek**


	6. God in Your Eyes

**Ah! Sorry for the long delay! Had a strange past month. I apologize for slacking on my writing.**

**But here is Bella again. Most of you strongly dislike her right now…GOOD. Haha**

**Thanks to SunflowerFran3759 for her beta skills. Any mistakes are mine for deciding to add at the last minute! She's so patient with my error filled days.**

* * *

Chapter 5- God in Your Eyes

Growing up I always knew that my family had money. I was a spoiled brat and never had to clean my room or worry that I wouldn't get what I wanted. I went to private schools in Midland, Texas and only shopped in fancy stores.

But it wasn't until my nanny decided to run an errand with me tagging along that it really hit me.

Her car wasn't new and was noisy as could be. She drove me into the Mexican and Black side of Odessa and I couldn't believe my eyes. People lived in broken down houses and worked in small little businesses. The kids wore baggy clothes and walked down the same streets where bums and hookers also walked.

That is when I truly realized that I was different, and that there were differences in the world. I swore I would never visit that side again.

That's how I currently feel with Masen driving me in his old truck. The seats are torn and there is dust all over his dashboard. His seatbelts smell like oil and make my neck itch. Also, there is no button for the window! I have to manually roll it down, because his AC barely blows any cool air in this hot Texan afternoon.

I turn to him while he sings along in a low voice to some country song on the radio. I want to cringe and fill the small cabin of his old truck with curse words, but I hold back.

The sun's rays are coming through the dirty window and lighting the small hairs of his strong arms and making it a little warmer.

"Oh, my god!" I screech when the old piece of metal rattles after we go over a speed bump.

He chuckles. "You all right?"

"Yes, you farmer with no manners!" I shout because he is possibly the most annoying man in the world.

"Well you're sittin' there callin' the Lord. I'm just making sure we don't need his assistance."

And he has a goddamn, smartass mouth.

"Well if you drove like a sane person and not like a fool, maybe I wouldn't be calling him! And why don't you get yourself a new truck? My Daddy pays you good money and you're driving this piece of crap."

"Don't be so hard on me, Ms. Bella," he says with humor in his voice. "Have a little more faith in old Betsy. We're almost there," he says

"Where exactly is 'there?'"

"Wal-Mart."

"What?!"

He laughs.

"Why you shoutin' again? You know, you have a loud voice. And you say I'm the farm boy with no manners."

"Ugh! That place is horrendous! And you _don't_ have manners!"

"Well maybe the good Lord placed you in my way so you can teach me of these so called manners you seem to know so much about. And Wal-Mart is just a store. It might be a little out of tune, but they has some pretty cheap batteries that work just fine."

"I have money. Money is not an issue."

"I'm sure it ain't, now can ya' please sit back. Ya makin' me nervous."

I huff and decide to stop arguing with the animal and just stare out my window instead. I can't believe I agreed to ride with a complete stranger, especially this one.

I turn and look at him again.

His hair is in need of a good haircut; its wild and a mess on top of his head. He looks as though he hasn't shaved in days and the ink on his skin that peeks out of his sleeve every time he lifts his arm, is a little intimidating.

"Do I got somethin' on my face?" He asks.

I quickly jump and return to look out the window.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

~TL~

There are children everywhere, running around and crying! Then there are the adults wearing sweats and sandals. These people should be ashamed to be out in public dressed the way they dress.

Ashamed!

"You never been to Wal-Mart?" Masen asks me. He's currently looking over the batteries they have on display. I don't know why he just can't pick one so we can leave.

"I don't think so. If I have ever been here, I sure as hell don't remember, and thank God for that." A man with tattoos up to his neck and wearing a blue Wal-Mart vest starts approaching us. I screech and run behind Masen who again only chuckles at my misery.

"Can I help you, man?" He asks.

Masen goes on and on about batteries and I'm not really paying attention since I don't understand anything. Instead I stare at the couple sitting in the waiting area of the mechanic shop.

He works for Daddy, I can tell because of his clothing. He's wearing a gray uniform with black oil stains like the ones on his hands. He holds onto his girlfriend's hand while gently rubbing circles on her skin.

"So you gonna let me go?" Masen's voice pulls me out of my musings.

I realize that I'm holding onto his dirty t-shirt and automatically let go.

I clear my throat and hope he forgets that I was even touching him. "Are we done?" I ask firmly.

"Yes, ma'am. I got ya the cheapest and best battery."

I ignore his blabber and head over to the cashier. I pay and wait for Masen to tell me what's next.

"Dave will bring your husband the battery," she tells me. I hear Masen chuckle behind me.

"Oh, no, we are not together!" I say a little louder than I should.

She furrows her eyebrows. "All right, geez," she mutters.

~RN~

Masen's arm does this weird thing when he flexes it as he puts in my new battery, and I can't help but stare at it. I sigh in annoyance but the thing is, I'm annoyed with myself.

Masen should repulse me.

He's dirty and sweaty and is an ignorant fool!

Yet, here I am studying every line, vein, wrinkle, and hair on him. There is definitely something wrong with me. I might have to tell the Indian shrink about this. Maybe my mind is just looking for a distraction.

"All done," he finally says, and wipes his hands on his jeans. "Why don't ya try and turn it on."

I turn the key and the car rumbles with life. He hollers and claps. He walks over to my window with a pearly white grin and a sparkle in those green eyes of his that seem to shine brighter because of his reddened skin. He spends too much time under the sun.

"You have a good evening, ma'am." He pulls his torn baseball cap down on his head in a sign of his farewell and starts walking away.

"Wait!" I shout and he quickly turns around. "Aren't you going to charge me for the labor?"

He chuckles and shakes his head. "No, ma'am."

"But that's insane. You gave me a ride and everything. I can pay you."

"That's not the point. I don't charge for acts of kindness. I would like to think you would do the same for someone in trouble," he says, as he gets into his truck and drives away.

"I'm not sure I would," I mutter to myself.

~RN~

"The house smells nice," I tell my mother as she shows her friend Lucy the new dresses she purchased today.

"Yeah, it's the new cleaning lady. She brought her own cleaning supplies, some Mexican stuff. You know how those ladies know their cleaning supplies"

"What happened to Ana?"

"She was getting old, sweetie, so I hired Julia," she says and opens yet another shopping bag. "She does a good job, but we have to be careful."

"Why is that?"

"Honey, I'm sure she's an illegal. She might steal something."

I laugh at my mother. "I'm sure that doesn't mean she's going to steal." I stop laughing when I realize my mother is serious. She goes on to talk about the dangers of immigration and how our country is being ruined for another ten minutes. Then Lucy adds her own views and I can't help but notice the prejudice and disdain in their voices. After a while I realize I'm not even listening to them anymore and excuse myself.

I lie in my bed thinking, and for the first time it isn't about the same old nightmare.

But considering who I'm thinking about I'm not sure if it's any better.

"Damn green-eyed redneck," I mutter.

~RN~

It's a nice Saturday morning and Alice invited me to have lunch with her in Midland, Texas. Its only thirty minutes away from Odessa. It's a little bigger than our small town and there's more to do.

Mother loves coming over here. She says this is where we belong, not redneck Odessa. My friends Tanya and Lauren love shopping here and Alice loves the restaurant options, but hates the people.

"People are so snotty here," she says after the rude hostess shows us our table. "They think because we're a blue collar town that they are better than us. Well I'm proud of being from that small town and having hard working parents," she says a little louder than she should.

After my initial embarrassment, I smile at Alice. She's always been an advocate of some kind. She's always defending people from what she thinks is wrong even if it doesn't concern her. I wish I was as brave.

"They're lucky I like their restaurants."

"Oh, Alice," I say. "You never did tell me what your parents do for a living."

"My daddy worked in the oilfield, typical I know, but he's retired now, and my mother still works as a school teacher. He was a conservative nut who fell in love with the crazy hippie from Austin. They argue most of the time, but they love the hell out of each other. You should see the way they look at each other sometimes. It almost makes me gag, but I want that someday you know."

"What are you going to order?" I ask her, trying to change the subject. But her eyes widen when she sees someone behind me.

"Hell, there is Jasper Whitlock. I didn't tell you this but I kinda made out with him on Thursday."

"What?!"

"Hush! We were both drunk, and after he walked off like he had seen the devil himself. He's scared of me. He thinks I'm some kind of liberal Satan worshipper, but I know he likes me. It's just his old way of thinking that ruins it, and it sucks because he's a cutie. Just look at those blonde curls!"

I roll my eyes.

"What are you going to do about it?" I ask, amused at how her eyes won't stop looking in his direction.

"Jasper!"

Jesus.

"Dear God! I didn't mean for you to shout, Al!"

"Oh, live a little, rich girl."

"I hate you!"

"Jasper, why don't you and your friend sit with us?"

I turn around to see who this friend is and I almost die.

There, standing next to Jasper, in a pair of clean jeans, a plain blue t-shirt and holding that stupid, raggedy, baseball cap in his right hand, is Edward Masen. He's freshly shaven and his hair doesn't look sweaty and dirty like it does at the oilrig. It looks soft and lighter.

I realize I haven't taken a breath since I spotted him, and I turn back to Alice so he won't catch me almost passing out.

"Uh," Jasper manages to say. "I think we're about to get a table of our own, Ms. Brandon."

"Why take up another table when you can sit with Bella and me? Come on now, boys, we don't bite," Alice says, and I have to give it to her. She sure knows how to get what she wants because now Jasper and Masen are walking towards us. "Jasper, sit next to me and…"

"Edward," Masen answers.

"Edward, you sit next to Bella," Alice directs.

I want to jump across the table and choke my lovely pixie friend, but as soon as Masen sits next to me I settle down.

He smells nice.

He smells like body soap, laundry detergent and man.

"Ms. Bella, how are you this fine day?" he asks.

"Fine," I mutter into my water cup.

Jasper looks a little nervous, but as soon as Alice starts asking him questions about his day, he loosens up and actually laughs with her. They have a lot in common and the way they move around each other almost seems to be in rhythm.

I, on the other hand, try to ignore Masen.

I hold back a giggle when he asks Jasper and Alice why there are cloth napkins and why he has water in a wine glass if he didn't ask for it.

But when I look over at Alice I feel a guilt I didn't know I had in me. She looks at him softly, and with a smile on her lips explains to him how fancy restaurants work.

Masen chuckles. "Well I feel like I gotta apologize to the dishwasher," he says.

"I'll apologize with you! Where are you from, Edward?" Alice asks.

"I'm from a small town in East Texas. I grew up on a farm with my Ma and Pa. Went to church every Sunday and worked hard since I was nine. Now I'm drinking water from a fancy glass. Typical," Masen says, while Alice and Jasper chuckle at his joke.

Our food arrives and I'm the last one to start eating. I can't stop side eyeing Masen.

He turns and catches me staring. I quickly turn my attention to my plate.

"You all right there?" Masen asks me.

"Yes," I mutter and try to ignore him while cutting my chicken.

"My mama used to say, 'either you eat your food or the insects will.' You best eat, Ms. Bella."

Alice giggles and not even my glare stops her.

"Hey, Mase, why don't you tell these gals about your horse story? That shit makes me laugh so much," Jasper says, and suddenly all eyes are on Masen who wipes his hands on his jeans.

He goes on and tells the story of how a horse kicked him in the chest when he was young, but the story of how that happened make Alice and Jasper crack up in laughter.

I hide my grin behind a napkin and try really hard so that he can't hear my giggles.

I stare at his green eyes and his bright smile as he animatedly moves his hands to explain his crazy story.

"So there I was, covered in mud and horseshit," he says. "I didn't know if to cry or laugh. But I didn't have time to decide, because my dad showed up." He stays quietly and continues eating his steak.

"Well that was an interesting story," I mutter.

He chuckles and places his dirty napkin on the table. "You got any horseshit stories, Ms. Bella?"

Alice laughs.

She's laughing a little too much. I thought she was on my side.

"I knew I was right, Masen. You have no manners."

He smirks. "There ain't no need for them anyway. Life is too short."

~RN~

I lean against Alice's car as she giggles and flirts with Jasper. She's trying to get his number. She's gonna make him fall madly in love with her and convert him to her liberal views.

I roll my eyes and pretend to read something on my phone while Masen also waits for Jasper with his hands in his jeans and his old, raggedy baseball cap over his stupid head.

I pretend not to notice him as he moves to stand next to me. He leans against Alice's car and clears his throat.

"You from around here?" He asks.

"My family is from Arizona. We all moved here when I was two."

"How long do you plan on workin' at your father's oilrig? I bet you're a smart young woman. You could probably find a better job."

"I don't know. However long it takes me to get bored from working there. How do you know I'm smart? What if I'm an idiot?"

He looks down at me with a smile on his lips. "I bet you went to fancy schools and shit."

I glare up at him. "You bet your Wal-Mart boxers I did."

He laughs so loudly some people stare at us and I can't help but laugh too.

"You got a pretty smile," he says and I don't respond. I quickly wipe said smile off my face and return my attention to my phone. "I know what it feels like, you know?"

I huff. "What are you talking about?"

"Livin' through blue days. It feels like a cloud hovers over your mind hidin' it from any sunshine and makes you feel like there is no tomorrow. You can't live or breathe like you're supposed to, 'cause it hurts. It feels like it's always gonna be this way. But you know it ain't if you really think about it."

At this point my eyes are staring down his own and I can't find it in me to move, even though tears are pooling and threatening to fall.

"You have no clue how I feel!" I angrily whisper at him.

"Why are you angry at me? Why are you angry at everyone? It don't do you no good. Trust me, I used to be angry too."

"Go to hell, you damn redneck. Don't pretend like you know me or that you and me are alike, because you have to be fucking stupid to even think that. You and I are nothing alike."

He doesn't say anything else, just moves his stupid cap down in sign of farewell and walks away.

My heart races in my chest and it's almost as if my blood is boiling in my veins.

It's the first time in months that I feel a rumble in my soul.

~RN~

It's payday again.

Every time the office door opens, I snap my head up to see who it is, but huff when it's just another worker. I rudely hand them their check and ignore their existence after.

It's almost five o'clock and Masen hasn't picked up his check. I haven't seen him since last weekend.

I hand out a few more checks before he finally appears. Uniform off and standing only in his dirty jeans and t-shirt.

Another worker is before him, waiting for his check.

"Name?" I ask.

"Eleazar," he says.

"I'm sorry?"

"Eleazar."

He starts to spell it for me, but he doesn't have to. I already know, but this is the game I play.

"You know what his name is," Masen says.

I glare at him, but he ignores me.

"How are you, Eli? How's the wife?" Masen asks him.

Eli turns to his friend and smiles. "Pissed at something, but aren't they all?"

Both men chuckle.

"Are you gonna be able to make it my sister's _quinceñera_? I promise you'll have fun, _gringo_."

Masen laughs. "Sure thing, bro." They go on talking for a few minutes about their next job and how Masen is looking for a better apartment, but everything in the city is already taken.

I try to interrupt but I can't do it. The way Masen laughs, speaks and encourages his friend has me too entertained. I've never met someone like him. No matter who he is talking to, he always seems interested and genuinely concerned or caring. It's like he doesn't go hiding who he is or what he feels. He puts himself out there so people can see.

So brave.

So daring.

I'm jealous.

"Eli," I shout. "Here is your paycheck." Both men stay quiet for a moment before he steps forward and takes it.

"I thought you didn't know my name," Eli says.

"Do you need anything else?" I ask loudly.

"No ma'am." He walks off after saying his goodbyes to his friend.

"Good afternoon," Masen says. There are smudges of black oil on his face, but somehow it makes him look perfect.

Too perfect.

"I don't know what's so perfect about it. What do you want?"

He chuckles. "Time has made you bold, Ms. Swan. I've never met such a sweet face as yourself with such a tough exterior."

"How do you know it's only on the outside? I may be mean as the devil himself on the inside."

He shakes his head. "No, ma'am. Don't compare yourself with a creature with no soul or love. You have may have fooled me when I first met you, but…"

"Did I look like the devil?"

"Not at all. The complete opposite. You look so much like an angel that I thought you were one."

"Don't flirt with me on the job. Do you want to get fired?"

He laughs. The melody of his husky laughter making me fight a smile of my own. "I ain't flirtin,' I'm innocent of that accusation."

"Well why not? I'm not pretty enough or something, Masen?" I tease.

"You are. You're beautiful. You're as beautiful as the Texas morning sky on a spring day and a deep breath in a garden full of flowers. But what I was tryin' to say is that when I first met you I was fooled to thinking you was an angel. You know an angel has no sufferin' or scars. They're perfect beings. But you're not Ms. Bella. No matter how beautiful you are, you have scars in your heart and soul. That makes you human and I apologize for not respecting that. When I see the hurt in your eyes when you're up and raddled, shoutin' at someone or actin' like you hate even the air I breathe, I can still see God in your eyes. That's why I'm here to tell you that you'll be all right. You ain't alone in this world. Even if the pain makes you feel it, don't be fooled."

I angrily wipe at the tears on my cheeks. "Well, Masen, you have a knack for making people cry that's for sure. But I don't know what compels you to talk to me or 'help' me. We're not friends…not even acquaintances. We will never be any of that. So stop worrying about me, a complete stranger to you and tell me what I can do for you so you can get the hell out of here."

He smiles and shakes his head. "I need my paycheck, ma'am. Also, I need to talk to Carlisle."

"Name?"

He sighs. "Edward Masen."

I hand him his check and tell him to wait.

I call Carlisle and he tells me to hold on as he's in a late meeting. Edward just nods and silently waits. I can feel him staring at me at times, but I ignore him.

The door opens and in come my friends Lauren and Tanya.

I smile and walk over to them for hugs and outfit compliments. "What the hell are you girls doing here? I thought you hated coming to the oilrigs?"

"Of course we do," Lauren answers. "But we came to talk to you about your 21st birthday!"

I gasp. I didn't even realize my birthday was coming up.

"Oh my God, Bells, don't tell us you forgot!"

I don't answer.

"It's okay," Tanya says giggling. "Because we're already planning your big party for this Saturday."

I sigh. "I'm not up for parties," I say.

"You have to. You have no choice."

I turn over to Masen who is staring at his hands in his lap, but I know he's listening.

"You're right, but I also want to do something else Saturday night."

"Oh, do tell!" Lauren squeals.

"I want to go to Hershel's Saloon."

"What? That's the white trash bar, right?"

I nod.

"What the hell? We're not going there. Imagine how it looks and smells."

"Yuck."

"It's probably dangerous."

"I don't care. I want to go there. I want to do something dangerous for once in my life."

Both girls look at each other and shrug.

"Edward?" Carlisle calls. I can't even look at him in the face. I haven't been able to since Peter's funeral. I'm afraid he'll end up breaking my heart even further.

Masen gets up and walks towards him, but not before throwing me a worried glance.

I hope he finally realizes that I don't need his saving.

I don't need anything.

I'm no damsel in distress.

* * *

**That damn Bella!**

**Leave some thoughts in the review box and I will appreciate ya for life! **

**Some have asked if this story takes place in the past, because of some of things said or expressed.**

**No, its modern day. It's just to show you how some ignorant beliefs and racism haven't died.**


	7. Just for Tonight

**Hiya there! Thanks for the reviews, favs and follows! You guys are awesome!**

**Thanks to SunflowerFran3759 for her beta skills. Any mistakes are mine for deciding to add at the last minute! She's so patient with my error filled days. I really don't know how she does it. I would have stabbed myself with a red pen already.**

* * *

Chapter 6- Just for Tonight

"_The Lord says that if you disobey your father and mother-"_

"_Please, father, I didn't mean what I said. I was just mad."_

_He doesn't listen and hits my face. _

"_Be a man of God! Be a God fearin' man! Or you'll die and go straight to hell, boy!"_

My tired eyes study the lines on my face as I stand in front of my bathroom mirror. My reflection has changed in the past few months since movin' here. The saying goes that the doors to a man's soul are his eyes, and I would like to think that I've cleaned up my soul. My eyes are no longer reddened by some evil substance I've put into my body, and the person I see in the mirror, no longer looks angrily back at me.

But the lines on my face from workin' long hours under the Texan sun and my scruffy chin from not having time to shave remind me that I'm still just a regular man on this earth. Ain't nobody care what I've been through in the past. Ain't nobody caring about what scars are left on me or where they came from. All that matters is who I am now.

I'm proud of being a hardworkin' man. I might not be rich and I might not live in a fancy house, but I got good intentions, and even though I have a short temper, I'm a good man.

I wish Isabella Swan would see that.

I wish she would stop thinkin' for one minute of how different the contents of my wallet are to hers and just listen. I don't know why I obsess over that girl. She's mean, young and clearly not wantin' any savin,' but like I said, her eyes let me see what she tries to hide.

She's a good person. I just know it. Ain't nothin' wrong with being a good person. She's just young and lost. I guess I'm obsessed with tryin' to help her because I've been in her shoes before.

I was worse when I was her age. Much worse.

You feel like there is no tomorrow. You don't even make plans or look forward to the new opportunities each day brings. You just wake up, maybe have somethin' to eat, go to work, have a few mindless conversations and then go back to sleep. You know it. You know the kind of life you're livin' ain't leading nowhere and it drives you mad, but at the same time, your sad mind won't let you do anything about it.

She needs someone to wake her from this coma she's livin' in. I don't know why I've taken it upon myself to be the one to do it. Maybe it's because I see her father being busy as hell and the kind of soulless friends she has. I can only imagine how her mother is. They love her; there is no doubt about that. But ain't nobody payin' attention.

Ain't nobody payin' attention to those sad, brown eyes.

Today is Saturday. The boys had planned to drink and dance at our usual bar. They're a bunch of fun so I said sure, promising to only have one beer. But then Bella made plans that I didn't like.

Now, I know I sound like a possessive son of a bitch, but Hershel's Saloon ain't no place for a lady. It's full of racist hicks and drunken gals with no brains.

So I made a plan. I'll go to Hershel's Saloon, check the place out, and if it's okay, I'll leave.

But I'm a damn fool and a liar. I know I ain't gonna leave.

I get dressed, throw some cologne on and place my raggedy ball cap over my fucked up hair and head over to the bar. I don't know when she plans to get there or if she's changed her mind. I sure as hell hope she does and turns the other way and goes back to those bimbos she calls friends. At least they wouldn't know not to go.

Emmett, Eli and the rest of our friends from the rig invited me to the same old bar we always go to for some drinks. I promise the boys to get to the party as soon as I can, but I don't know if that's gonna happen.

I park my old truck and realize the place is already full. As soon as I walk in, my nose is full of cigarette smoke and the smell of this old place. I look around, studying the noisy people. Some are playing pool, others are drunkenly dancing by the jukebox that's playin' some old, country song. There is a huge biker man flirtin' with one of the bartenders and another one throwing darts. It ain't so bad, but I know these people.

They'll find someone to fight with or someone to hurt.

I find an empty barstool and order a beer. After a while my neck starts hurtin' from lookin' towards the door.

A girl comes up to me, places her hand on my crotch and it don't take much strength on my part to push her drunken self away.

"Darlin,' you best head home. Do you have a ride? You shouldn't be drivin' like that. Do you want me so call someone for ya?"

She rolls her eyes, flips me off and walks away.

I shake my head and continue lookin' towards the door. It finally opens again and there she is.

I mutter a few curse words to myself. I'm angry at a few things, actually I'm pissed. I am mad that she's here lookin' like she's already had a few drinks, but she's so young and stupid; she don't know how much trouble she can find in the world.

It ain't safe.

I am also pissed at myself for finding her so goddamn beautiful. She's wearin' a simple little blue dress that shows off her creamy skin and her long legs. Her brown curls frame her gorgeous face and the light make-up makes her eyes shine.

She giggles at somethin' one of her blonde friends says. The sound is so beautiful and pure, that in order to keep my distance, I fight the urge to run to her and wrap her up in my arms and protect her from all these assholes starin' at her.

It don't take long before a few boys, and I do mean fuckin' _boys_, go up to Bella and her group of friends. They roll their eyes in obvious rejection and thankfully the fuckers give up and walk away. One of the girls comes up to the bar and orders drinks. I pull my hat down just in case they remember my face.

I decide to wait until the girls get bored and leave. It seems that is what is happenin' to Bella's friends. They keep pullin' at her arm and lookin' towards the door, but she won't budge and keeps scannin' the bar as if she's lookin' for somethin' or someone.

After a few minutes and a few arguments, the two, tall blondes leave and it's only the petite, stubborn brunette who is left, lookin' tipsy as hell all by her lonesome.

I'm angry that she surrounds herself with friends that would just leave her like this. She should know that there are other people in the world that would be better friends than them. Why don't she hang out with Alice more? Alice seems like a nice gal.

I pay for my unfinished beer and start makin' my way over to her when suddenly James fuckin Hunter grabs her by the arm and pulls her into his body.

"Hey, gorgeous, why don't you and I dance?" He asks.

Bella tries pulling her arm out of his grasp, but the asshole won't let go.

"Please let me go," she pleads.

"I just wanna dance, hon. Then maybe we can go to my place and dance some more."

Without thikin,' I grab James by the collar of his shirt, pull him off Bella and shove him against a wall as beer bottles fall and a chair tips over.

"The lady asked for you to let her go, motherfucker. I would think that meant she ain't interested in your fuckin' dancin,'" I shout.

He takes one good look at me and starts laughin.'

"Well, look who it is! Edward, the fuckin hero. Why you always gotta fuck with my fun, Masen? I was just tryin' to get some pussy," James shouts.

Quickly Bella runs behind me and grabs onto my arm, hiding from James' evil gaze.

"She apparently didn't want to fuckin' talk to you. I know you was raised by goddamn animals, James, but you gotta remember that when a lady says no, you back the fuck off and find what you want somewhere else."

James drunkenly stumbles back to his feet and raises his head as if trying to dare me to fight.

"We both remember how our last fight ended," James says. "I walked away and you were on the damn ground."

I chuckle humorlessly. "Are you talkin' about the time I broke your nose before you cheap shot punched me? I don't mean to offend you, but you're a terrible fighter and a lousy son of a bitch of a loser."

James is about to jump at me and Bella screeches pullin' at my shirt. In an instant, a tall man is suddenly in between James and me.

He turns to us and points at the door.

"Take that bitch and get your redneck ass out of my bar," he huffs, and without needin' him to ask again, I gently take Bella's hand in mine and head the hell out of there.

I don't turn and look at her, I just pull her towards my truck. But suddenly the sob that escapes her chest makes me stop and finally let my eyes take her in.

Her make-up is ruined and some of her curls are sticking to her tear stained face, and my heart breaks. I really do have a soft spot for this girl. I sigh and squeeze her hand before pulling her into my chest. I don't give a damn what her last name is and how much money she's got. I don't care that she's acted like a spoiled brat to me. All I care about is makin' her feel warm and safe in my arms.

I'm surprised how quickly she wraps her own slim, tiny arms around me. She quietly sobs into my chest while I rock her right and left and whisper words of comfort in her ear.

"I don't why I do the things that I do," she says after a few minutes. The moon is shinin' down on us and everything around don't seem to exist. It's just her and me in the middle of a dirt parkin' lot. "I don't know why I say the ugly things that I say to you or everyone else. I don't why I think the things that I know I don't really feel. But I'm really glad you were around, Masen," she whispers. Her bottom lip quivers and her warm breaths hit my skin.

"Oh, Bella," I whisper and take her face into my hands so that I can stare into those broken, brown eyes of hers. I caress her cheeks with my thumbs and wipe away at the big, fat tears easily fallin' and runnin' down her pale skin.

"Please, I don't wanna be alone tonight. It's my birthday." She takes a hold of my shirt and pulls me closer to her small body.

"Then why didn't you leave with your friends?"

She sniffs, glances at my lips and then her wandering eyes stare into mine. "I just knew you would come," she says lowly. "I knew you would come and I wanted to wait for you. I wanted to see you. I wanted to fight with you." She smirks, her eyes still filling with tears.

I sigh. "You silly gal," I mutter and without thinking or askin' I place my lips against her warm forehead and she lets me, lettin' out a broken breath and tightenin' her hold on my shirt.

She buries her face into my neck and her warmth and softness against my skin drives a shiver down my spine. It's not like I haven't been with a female in recent weeks, but there ain't no girl or woman that can compare to how _she _feels. It's like now that I've held her in my arms, ain't no way I'll survive if I let go. I dig my nose into her silky hair and breathe in her scent and I know this is punishment. It has to be. Ain't no way in the world that I can bear this feelin' in my chest for this spoiled, rich, and obnoxious brat. She's much younger than me and we're from different worlds. She will never care for this poor, tattered heart of mine.

Hesitantly, I start to pull her away, but she clings with all her might to my chest. She runs her hands up to my neck and then up to my scruffy cheeks. She gently runs her small fingertips through my stubble.

"I love it when you don't shave," she whispers, before glancing at my lips again. "You make me so mad, Masen. You make my heart hammer against my chest and my blood boil and I love it. I love feeling something for the first time in months." She places my left hand over her chest. "You feel it? It's my heart. It's loud and I don't know why. I'm not even pissed at you, but I feel a million tingles in my skin."

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When she opens them, their back at my lips. Before I realize what she's doing she raises up on her toes and places her mouth against mine.

Now, I've said that this is punishment and I ain't changin' my mind about that. The softness of her bottom lip, the feelin' of her small hands clingin' to my cheeks as she pulls me deeper into the kiss, the smell of her strawberry, scented shampoo and her tongue running along my own is goddamn torture.

It feels too good.

It feels right.

I may be a gentleman, but my cock don't give a shit about that.

I let my hands slide down to her hips and hold her closer. I know I should pull away. I should stop her, but I can't seem to let go of the warmth that is her body and soul. It isn't until she has to take a breath that she lets go of my lips.

I open my eyes expectin' her to look horrified and hear her bitter remarks about how I shouldn't have kissed her.

But instead, I find her eyes still closed and small fingers tracing her lips. She takes a deep breath and finally looks up. She runs her cold, index finger alongside my jaw and places a kiss on the corner of my mouth.

It is then that I can smell the alcohol on her and my foolish heart breaks.

She's drunk.

"You're beautiful," she whispers against my lips.

Even though I'm angry at myself for lettin' her kiss me like that in her drunken state, I can't help but chuckle at her comment.

"Come on, Ms. Bella let's take you home. You ain't got a ride?"

She wipes her face and shakes her head. "Lauren drove us here. They left me."

"You should really find yourself some new friends, Ms. Bella. Them ladies didn't hesitate in leavin' you all alone in that horrible bar."

She huffs and stumbles a bit as she tries to walk. "They said they were gonna come back…but maybe they were lying…why don't you take me?"

I help keep her balance by holding her by the arms. "Would you mind givin' me your address?"

She shakes her head. "No! Don't take me home. I don't wanna go there. Take me dancing, Masen. I know you know where to go for a dance."

"Ms. Bella…"

"Stop callin' me that! How about you call me Bella?"

"Bella, you ain't in no condition to go dancin'. I think you should go home and sleep this off."

"No, let's go dancing. Come on!" She says, as she takes my hand and leads us to my truck, tripping along the way.

We argue a little as we get into my truck. She demands that I stop openin' the door for her and that I shouldn't help her with her seatbelt. She claims she ain't no damsel in distress.

She starts blabberin' about how she hates my stupid hat, but loves it too.

She's confusing.

She takes said ugly hat off my head and places it over hers.

I laugh as she sings along to some rock song on the radio. God gave her beauty, but not a single spark of singing talent, but that doesn't seem to stop her and I don't dare tell her. It's adorable anyway.

"You know this song, Masen?" She asks and scoots her ass over to sit next to me. She sits so close I can feel how warm she is and smell that nice shampoo of hers.

"No, ma'am."

She wraps her arms around my right bicep and snuggles her head against my shoulder.

"Well, you should. It's a good song."

"Wouldn't have thought you'd be into rock music," I say, smirking at the road ahead of us. I jump when she slaps my arm.

"Why the hell not?"

"Well, now I don't mean any offense, but you seem too uptight and fancy to rock some guitar solos."

She giggles. "Screw you, Masen. You would be surprised at what I know or like." She starts singin' along to the next song.

I love this version of her. I want to believe that it's not only the alcohol. I want to believe that the damn devil's water has broken that wall she hides behind and it showin' who she is deep down.

She's some silly and rockin' gal.

"One time," she whispers, and I have no idea why she's whisperin'. "One time in high school, my friend Lena, who nobody knew I was friends with because I kept it a secret since she was weird to everyone else and a loser in their eyes, won concert tickets." She's blabberin' again, but I listen. "She asked me to go with her and her other friend, some other weird kid. Well the concert was in Lubbock and I knew my parents would never let me go to a rock concert much less one in another city… so I lied. I told them I was gonna hang out with my usual friends at the mall and spend the night with them, but I really snuck of with Lena and her friend. Masen, it was the most fun I ever had. I wasn't worried about being a 'righteous,' good, Christian girl and I wasn't worried about not being able to do some cussing and drinking."

"You were free," I say.

"Yes. I was very free."

"So what happened? What happened to your freedom?"

"Peter and my parents took it," she says, starin' off into the dark, night sky.

~RN~

Bella and I walk in awkward silence as I lead her through the parking lot of Bud's bar, where Emmett, Rose, Jasper, Garrett, Eli and his wife are all waiting for me. What they don't expect is that I am about to show up with Isabella Swan. I don't know how they'll take it, but they best be polite to her.

On the ride here, Bella made me stop at the duck pond so she could "see the duckies." I didn't dare tell her no. We spent an hour just walkin' and talkin' to some dumb ducks. She also blabbed about her daddy takin' her to a lake when she was a little girl and how her mom never liked to join. Apparently her mom is a city slicker and hates the outdoors.

As we walk towards the bar doors, I realize Bella's drunken daze seems to be wearin' off, but that doesn't stop her from slowly placing her hand in mine. I don't question this and lightly squeeze her tiny hand to let her know it's okay. She's so small compared to me as she walks by my side.

She gets even closer to me as we enter the bar. The country music is blastin' loudly from the speakers and the place roars with laughter and chatter. I look around for my friends and find they're at their usual corner. But unlike the usual, they're starin' at Bella and me in disbelief. Rose has her typical high raised eyebrow as she takes in Bella's fancy clothes.

Jasper is wide eyed and gulpin' down his beer as if it'll help him calm down, while his date, Alice, is grinning brilliantly wide.

I look down at the lovely brunette and give her a reassuring smile.

"You ready?" I ask.

She just nods and returns a shy smile.

"Who would have thought it? Bella Swan is shy," I say, makin' her grin.

"Oh, you hush, Masen. Just take me to have fun. I swear if I don't have fun, I'll never speak to you again."

I chuckle. "Let's have the time of our lives then."

I pull her through the crowd, and when we finally reach the table with all of the widened eyes, I pull Bella to stand in front of me.

"Hey, guys," I say, while scanning the group. Their eyes don't get smaller and their mouths are still hangin' open. "This is Bella. Bella these are my friends. Garett, Emmett and his wife, Rose. And then we have Eli and his wife, Adriana. All the men here work for…um…"

"Your daddy!" Emmett shouts and Rose slaps his arm effectively shushing him up.

"Also, of course you know Jasper and Alice."

Bella nervously nods at everyone and slowly makes her way to stand behind me.

"It's her birthday today, so ya'll best make it fun."

"Well, that's great!" Eli shouts in his broken English, surprising the hell out of everyone. "Cheers to Ms. Bella's birthday! May God bring you many more amazing years!" And just like that the entire group is cheerin' and the girls are pullin' Bella into their embraces.

"We are gonna make it a hell of a night!" Rose says, wrapping an arm around Bella's shoulders. Rose's tattoos and torn jean shorts are such a contrast to Bella's pale skin and fancy clothing. It's obvious the girls don't shop at the same store.

"Let's get Bella a birthday drink!" Emmett suggests.

"She's already had a few. I don't think-"

"Don't be a prude, Edward," Alice cuts me off. "Bella, this place makes the best margaritas!"

"No they don't," Eli says.

"Bella, this place makes the best margaritas by a white person!" Alice says and everyone laughs.

Alice makes room for Bella to sit next to her and Jasper, but Bella doesn't sit down until another chair is brought for me to sit next to her. Once I'm at her side, she visibly relaxes and even starts to joke around with Rose and Adriana.

I know I must look like a fool, grinnin' the way I am, but the way Bella quickly gets along with Rose and Adriana, two different women from completely different worlds, gives me hope. They slowly pull her away from me and have her sit in the middle of all of them, leavin' the boys to talk. I try not to sulk at the fact that they took her from me, because I'm glad she's talkin' and laughin' with them. They'll be better friends than the ones she has already. The girls all gossip and chatter about shit I don't know or care about and the men talk about somethin' I don't hear because all I do is stare at her. Occasionally, she'll turn and give me one of them shy smiles she seems to have found when lookin' at me.

"You best not be fallin,' Mase," Jasper tells me while his date distracts Bella.

"I have no idea what you're talkin' about," I lie and drink from my beer.

"You know exactly what I'm talkin' about. She ain't from your world, Mase."

"And you are?!" I angrily and unreasonably whisper at him.

He chuckles and downs his beer. "Nah, man, all I'm sayin' is that she's gonna break your heart. You're a great man, but she's grown up in money and has never struggled in her life for anything. Sure, she's had a very unfortunate thing happen to her, but she'll always be from money and will always be used to the elegance of her upbringing. She's gonna realize you ain't nowhere close to that and break your heart."

I don't respond and sadly look over at her as I realize he's probably right. She's starin' at me with worried eyes and I hate that look. A beautiful gal like her should never worry or suffer. I'm sure she didn't hear a goddamn thing Jasper said since it's so loud with the music, but she can tell somethin' is wrong.

She says somethin' to Rose and the other girls and jumps off her chair. She walks over to me with a small smirk on those beautiful lips of hers. She places said lips against my ear, gently grazin' my skin with them, makin' my heart thump against my poor chest.

"I think you promised me a dance, Masen. Be a gentleman and keep your promise," she says.

I chuckle, take her hand and lead her to the dancin' floor. I hold her close as we slowly dance to _Neon Moon_.

"You're not a bad dancer," she tells me with another smirk.

"You ain't too bad yourself. Did you take them fancy ballet classes when you was a little lady?"

She giggles. "I did…or I tried. I was so horrible," she grumbles. "I begged my mother to take me out of those stupid classes. She wasted so much money. I went for two years and I never got better."

"I'm sure you weren't that bad."

"You're right. I was worse! I sucked."

I chuckle.

"How about you, Masen? Were you in any sports in school?"

I sadly look away from her eyes. I didn't have a very normal childhood.

"No. I really wanted to play baseball, but my father didn't let me. He got so mad when I bought a ball and glove with the money I earned mowing lawns."

"But why?" She asks, not understanding my father's ways.

"He didn't think it was Christian of me to spend money like that."

"Well…" she whispers, unsure of what to say. "Was he mean to you?"

I smile at her and sigh. "He was, Bella, but let's not talk about my father tonight. It's your birthday. It should be the happiest night, or one of the happiest nights of this entire year."

The song _Help Me Make it Through the Night _starts playin'. It's one of my favorite songs ever. I pull Bella even closer, feelin' how fast her heart is beatin' and I wonder if she can feel mine. She snuggles her face into the space between my shoulder and neck, her warm breaths sending sparks through my skin once again.

I close my eyes as I rest my head against hers and dance slower than before. I know Jasper is right. He's a smart man. He's always been right about things, but just feelin' the way this girl feels in my arms right now makes him a liar.

He's a goddamn liar.

She's so soft and warm and smells like heaven. She could never break me. She holds me together. She's all woman.

I snap my eyes open and realize again that Jasper is right. She has the power of hurtin' me so bad and she probably will.

"Bella?" I whisper, ruining the moment.

She slowly pulls her face away from my neck and opens her eyes to me. She gives me another one of them smiles I've fallen in love with tonight.

"I know you're a bit drunk right now-"

"Mase, I'm fine. Please don't take me home."

"No, that's not what I mean." I sigh and shake my head. "All I'm sayin' is that I know that when Monday comes, when I'm back to bein' just another roughneck that works for your daddy and I see you again, still beautiful as tonight but sober, you'll be right back to hatin' me."

She furrows her eyebrows. "Masen, I'm not-"

"Just let me finish, pretty girl."

She bites her bottom lip to shush herself.

"Just know that I'll always remember this night and that I'll always cherish it. You know why?"

She shakes her head, tears already poolin' in her eyes.

"Because I finally got to meet you. The real and beautiful you. Don't be mad and sad anymore, beautiful girl. You're so amazin'. Everyone deserves to meet you. I know I can't have you for myself and even though I understand why, it breaks me to know it. But I think I'll be okay. All I'm takin' from tonight is this moment, but you'll go on and be the happiest and most loved gal in Texas."

She doesn't bother to hide the sob that escapes her chest and gently presses her lips against mine. We sway to the music, ignorin' that nobody else is on the dance floor anymore and that everyone is starin' at us as we kiss and hold each other as close as we physically can.

We ignore it all.

Like it should be.

Just for tonight.

* * *

***Sigh* Where are these two headed?**

**Let me know what you think in the review box!**

**Also, if you do not watch American Idol or if you do, please go watch Kree Harrison's version of **_**Help Me Make it Through the Night**_**. Simply beautiful!**


End file.
